If I Was a Bazillionaire...

...I'd eat solely whatever was on America's Test Kitchen. I'd have a team whose job it would be to watch whatever episode came on that day, and then cook it. Then again, fuck it - if I'm that rich, why not just hire the ATK staff to do it for me? Just take over the whole shebang!

"Oh, you guys need to film right now? Well, as soon as I get my Orville Redenbacher SmartPop microwave popcorn, which I do believe you said was the best microwave popcorn thanks to it's taste, crunchiness and overall value, then I'll get the fuck outta the kitchen, won't I?"