Bacon

12) There is no greater flavor combination than bacon plus cheese plus caramelized onions. Maybe, but not on burger. Number one, I don't like onions cooked. But I also don't like bacon on my burger; unless it's on a pizza, I have a one-meat-per-bite rule. There's something oddly incestuously cannibalistic about mixing meats like this. Hell, you'd think me of all people would appreciate it more considering the number of times I've been banging out some broad from behind and looked down to see another chick has slid under us and is tonguing my dick and the other chick's pussy. And yet I still seem unmoved about the whole bacon on a burger thing. I am an enigmatic cat. - XMASTIME

A HAMBURGER TODAY has a...helpful?...list of fast food chains' burgers that include bacon.

Oddly enough, last night I saw Alton Brown claim that the best way to cook bacon is in a waffle maker, which answers that age-old question of "how many times CAN Xmastime reference himself in a single post?