Your 2011 AL East

6) Guys: quit trying to win the “REAL Baseball Fan” award by acting all excited and announcing the days until pitchers and catchers begin their workouts together. Every fucking year I gotta hear “17 days till pitchers/catchers!!!” Really? Are you a pitcher on a major league baseball team? Are you a catcher? Are you going to said practices to watch? Are these exciting workouts being televised? Do even the very pitchers and catchers that show up give 2 shits about this event? No. Acting like a excitable kid about something this worthless will not get you laid, it will not inspire me to buy you a fucking beer. The season starts on April 2. Until then, the only time I wanna hear “pitchers & catchers” is at my neighborhood gay bar, thank you very much. - XMASTIME

Today's the day pitchers & catchers report to spring training (on Valentine's Day - isn't that cute), and while I stand by the quote above re: how faggy it is for us to give two shits, it does mark a good time as any to list my AL East predictions for the 2011 season.  I've worked tirelessly all winter on my research here, and with a crack staff and some algorithms I've come up with, I think at the end of the year you'll see I came pretty close with each team. 

YANKEES 151-11
BLUE JAYS 50-112
TAMPA BAY 41-121
RED SOX 40-122
ORIOLES 19-49 (quit before All_Star break; "fuck it," says Coach Showalter)