Heeeey, Looks Like Someone's Single!

This fat fuck died stuck to his chair, having not gotten up in two years:

A morbidly obese Ohio man has died after police found him fused to a chair he had not moved from in two years and were forced to cut a hole in the wall of his house just to get him out, WTOV-TV reported Wednesday.

And then I see this juicy tidbit:

The man lived with two able-bodied roommates -- including his girlfriend, who officials said fed him since he never got up -- in a home in Bellaire, Ohio.  Officers who responded to the scene said that the man's skin was fused to the fabric of chair and that he was sitting in his own feces and urine with maggots visible.

My bold.  Clearly, this is a woman who won't be too upset whenever I forget to keep the ice trays filled.  (smashing my BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY Canoe Cologne box on the wall by my desk.)