To Read or Not to Read, That is the Question (The Answer is "Not if There's Some of That Sweet, Sweet Coed Stank to Be Gettin')

I know this sounds like Sarah Palin:

Good thing, since after five years and three schools, my cumulative GPA was 1.56. You needed a 1.5 to graduate. I was now the proud recipient of an English degree -- and I had never read the classics.

But it's not, it's THIS CHICK who graduated college with a degree in English without readin real books.

I've read plenty of the classics, but I have yet to read a single page of Shakespeare.  And hell, I got an english degree from the Harvard on the Appomattox, albeit with plenty of my own bullshit:

Meanwhile, in thinking about TOAFK I moseyed over to T.H. White's joint on Wikipedia, which tell us that he (allegedly (obviously)) did a thesis on Le Morte d'Arthur without having actually read the book. WHICH kickstarts White even closer to my heart than he already had been, as back in the day I was the Michael Jordan of not reading the book; looking at the back cover and the inside flaps and somehow getting 5-7 pages squeezed out (usually with a randomly-selected large block quote from the middle of the book, featuring a single word added in by myself to account for a whole extra "line of text.") This is a skill I learned early in high school; by college my talents were at such perfect pitch that I took a theater class in college and got a B without having any idea where the theater actually was on campus - upon being confronted by my professor about the validity of one of my "reviews" my performance was, ironically, award-winning theater.

And where the fuck can you graduate with a 1.5 GPA?  Devry?