Me & Ronnie Down by the Skoolyard

While waiting for the G train this afternoon I found myself looking at a poster on the wall for the upcoming flick "Stop-Loss." Whatever, I'm just kinda looking for it, waiting for the train. This is a poster on the subway, a "hey look it's Ryan Phillippe in a tiny t-shirt, come see this movie!" quick sales pitch. I see the list of the main actors, then produced by, directed by. Okay, written by, alright. Next thing you know I'm reading the names of people that were in charge of the cinematography, production design,the set design and art direction. Who the fuck is this for? Who's walking down the platform and says "hhheeeey, Shithead McShittsey designed the set for this one, I'm going!!!" This goes along with the overly-exhaustive 90000-long list of credits at the end of flicks nowadays. Hey, save it for your fucking insider Hollywood resumes, assfaces. Is Spielburg up at the screen with his bifocals at the end of "Infield Super-Fly Rule" starring Will Ferrell, looking to see who the 2nd Nutbag to the Gaffer is so he can use him for his next film? Camon. UG on movie opening credits here. - XMASTIME

5) I’m sitting there watching the beginning of ‘Jerry McGuire’ last night (yes, I have no penis) and a few minutes in I start to notice that credits are still popping up on the screen. What the fuck. And by this point I don’t even mean “Tom Cruise” or “Cuba Gooding, Jr”, I mean “Music Supervisor Randy Whittman.” Camon. Credits are annoying enough, and now I check my clock and we’re NINE MINUTES IN, and we’re still having them fucking pop up??!?! And they don’t even just throw them out there, they fucking take a minute or so between them. What the fuck is this for – suspense? “Hold on…who’s the assistant cinematographer here? Who? WHO THE FUCK IS TH- oh, good. Jim Dickhead. He’s good.” I realize they’re folding them in as the movie is rolling, as if they’re part of the fucking story. Which is, I will say, a tad distracting when you’re trying to get a grip at the beginning of a flick. Luckily as I said is was only ‘Jerry McGuire’, so I already knew that I was in for 2 hours of wanting to kick the little kid in the face, Cuba Gooding screaming, and Renee Zellwigger’s face looking like Tomcat just cut one. - XMASTIME

Turns out that running arms to Nicaragua and telling air traffic controllers to go fuck themselves isn't all me and Ronald Reagan have in common:

Nancy Reagan was standing right next to him and the President said to me, 'I only have one criticism about your movie,' and I said 'What’s that?' He said, 'How long were the end credits?' I said, 'Oh, I don’t know. Maybe three, three and a half minutes?' He said, 'In my day, when I was an actor, our end credits were maybe 15 seconds long.' He said, 'Why don’t you let everybody get a credit… three and a half, four minutes, that’s fine, but only show that inside the industry, but throughout the rest of the country reduce your credits to 15 seconds at the end?' - STEVEN SPIELBERG