Goals. I Have Them.

I'd like to be the most succinct restaurant reviewer in the world.  My entire review would be something like "Okay."  "Not bad."  "Good."

“But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “if you reviewed Dairy Queen, wouldn't you go into detail about banging your girlfriend in the bathroom?"

First of all, fuck you for bringing up such a thing, since that's MY business, and you know I don't talk about that shit.  Please. Some dignity around here would be nice, for once.