If I Could Go Back to The Harvard on the Appomattox

THIS GUY HERE asks the question If you could go back and give your one-month-into-college self any advice, what would it be?

Geez.  There's so many, but #1 would be lose the phone number for Little Caesar's.  I graduated high school 190 lbs of pure polyurethane and tiger sinew, and then was shocked to discover that you could call a place up on the phone and they'd bring food to you.  Also, that you could sit on your ass watching tv all you wanted without anyone yelling at you to go the hell outside.  And CABLE tv, at that!!!  Fucking hell.  And once you get out of shape, it's hard to get back in, much harder than simply staying in shape.

I'd also tell myself to not bother with a serious girlfriend, just get as much tail as possible.  I'd say the same thing to high school me.

And choose a major that is actually useful.

Hell, I'd prolly tell myself to leave; I'd have been better off joining the circus.  But then, I woulda missed out on Cool Pops trying to explain to me why Queensryche rocked, so  ;)