Christmastime Is Here

1) Who’s the fucking wizard at ABC who, at the Christmas movie scheduling meeting, came up with kicking things off by showing "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on November 28? What the fuck? THE number one Christmas show to watch, Xmas nostalgia rivaled only by "It’s a Wonderful Life", and you know what…why don’t we get this thing outta the way before December even hits so we can make room for new classics like "Christmas at the Mall 3" and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (The Quickening)"? Who signed off on this – I looked and saw that tv has over 75 Xmas movies to fucking show in the next month; how the FUCK could the Charlie Brown one not be the goddam climax to all this?!?!?!?! Why is this not shown on Xmas Eve? Should be the "Christmas Story" marathon up til 7:30, then Charlie Brown followed by "It’s a Wonderful Life", bam! Christmas!!! Who even watches these other steaming piles they throw out every year? I’m baffled. November 28??!!?! Are you kidding me? I can live with them kicking off the Xmas season early, but why not save the best for last instead of vice versa? This is like fucking Jessica Alba before you’re even horny or hard so that you can hurry up and get to jerking off to the Sears catalog.

2) And whoever’s behind the newer Peanuts shows that follow the holiday specials, knock it off. I turned on to watch "The Great Pumpkin", not "Charlie Brown Gets Elected." NOBODY loves Peanuts more the Xmastime, but lets face it, the reason we love Peanuts is its nostalgia. Play the old hits and get off the air, please. At a Modern English concert do I stick around after "I Melt with You" to hear their new "hits"? No. HELL no…..I’d be in the can with all the other Euro-fags, spraying whipped cream on the walls and smoking cloves.

3) Yes, I was tempted to come up with a million titles, like "No, She’s Really Dead, Charlie Brown!" or "Who Called Franklin a N---er?"….but that’s prolly been done a million times, so lets move on. -XMASTIME

I'm pleased to see A Charlie Brown Christmas is coming on tonight, putting it a full week closer to Christmas than a year ago.  That's progress.  Also, I was yammering to someone this weekend about the documentary of tthe daily process of Shultz making Peanuts that for some fucking reason never aired. Wtf?

Also, I still wish Obama had done this funny.  Ha!