And I Want, And I Need, Animal

People have long made fun of me for liking women whose face had an equine quality, and I noticed a while ago I seem to like women that look like animals other than horses as well, to the point of wondering if I should start dating an animal:

Now, I will say it's not a SEXUAL thing with the animals, but it being a crush thing makes me think I'd like to have a RELATIONSHIP with these animals, right? I can't really explain it otherwise. And hell, is that even the worst thing in the world? So I wouldn't mind having a turtle, or an anteater around to spend my time with; someone to talk to and confide in without having to worry about being judged, or about them running to their yenta girlfriends and blathering about how bad I am at eating pussy, or some such. And I wouldn't hafta meet an animal's parents, or family, or even any of their stupid friends either. Also, a horse for instance wouldn't care that I don't make as much money as  her friend's boyfriends, I wouldn't hafta hear some endless bullshit about pushing for a better job. Fucking christ. She'd just be happy I'm loading her bucket up with some oats. Does Xmastime wanna watch the game? Help yourself my good man, turtles don't watch tv!!

Now I see that of my five office crushes, exactly two are married: The Turtle and The Anteater.

So I guess I'm not the only one.  Interesting.