EMERGENCY OFFICE CRUSH ALERT!!!!!!!!! CODE RED!!!!!!!!

Just overheard 4th Office Crush's boyfriend of two months just got a job in Iowa.  Will be commuting, going out there for 4 days, back for 3.  I mean, camon...2 months together, now he's gonna be halfway around the country?...wherever the fuck Iowa is, anyway...I can see the vultures circling this dead-ass carcass of a relationship!!

Note to self: grab a case of the good stuff on the way home.