Jazzy Jeff

The next time The Tea Party tries to claim Thomas Jefferson as a fan, they might wanna check out his secret Bible:

During most of his two terms in the White House, from 1801 to 1809, and for more than a decade afterward, Jefferson – the third U.S. president and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence – committed himself to a radical reinterpretation of the Gospels.

With a razor and glue brush at this side, Jefferson lined up English, French, Greek and Latin editions of Scripture and proceeded to cut up and reassemble the four Gospels into an exquisitely well-crafted, multilingual chronology of Christ’s life. Jefferson’s minimalist approach to the Gospels reveals an attitude that he disclosed only privately, just months before his death: “I am of a sect by myself, as far as I know."

In that sense, Jefferson the politician wouldn’t have stood a chance in the current presidential race, where faith and piety are on constant display. The political process might be more open today to candidates of varying degrees and types of belief if The Jefferson Bible were more central to the nation’s history.

Jefferson presumably didn't see Jesus as a machine gun-totin' American-loving badass with ripped abs.

Also, he invented the very cut-n-paste method we use on computer today.  First interracial fucking and then the ol' cut-n-paste? Is there NOTHING this dude didn't come up with?!?!?!

"I hope Halle Berry is impressed I re-wrote The Bible...oh, I do loves me some mochachina..."