Porn Industry Hates Freedom; Jesus Has to Restrain His Scrappy, Lovable Sidekick Baby Jesus From Flipping a Table Over and Going Apeshit on Some Motherfuckers

Thirty years after the introduction of AIDS, the Porn industry is finally making porn stars wear condoms:

Porn producers have fluffed up over the issue before, but the Los Angeles city council is playing hard ball, and has passed an ordnance that will deny permits to producers who do not use condoms in their films

Whoa whoa whoa - what's next? We gotta wear seat belts in cars? Illegal to put giraffe doo-doo in my ground chuck? Warnings about the dangers of smoking on my pack of Winston 100s? NOT IN MY AMERICA, COMRADE!! The Muslim in Chief is wrecking the best of Dubya!