Congratulations Keith Martin!

When I move to London in July I'm immediately buddying up with THIS GUY; in our gang, I'll be known as "the skinny one."

Martin currently weighs 812 pounds. He is believed to be the world's fattest man alive, even though the excess weight has kept him from living a normal life.

The 42-year-old London resident is bedridden and requires 18 caretakers to help keep him alive, according to The Mirror.

He spends most of his days watching TV and eating, adding even more pounds to his 5-foot, 9-inch frame.

A typical day for him includes eating eight hot dogs for breakfast, a variety of chocolate bars, cakes and biscuits for lunch, and 16 sausages plus a large bag of chips for dinner, according to The Independent.

Martin makes no excuses about his weight gain, which he says started when he was a teenager right after his mother died.

“My mother died when I was 16 and I didn’t care about anything after that and I couldn’t care less about what happened to me - I ate anything and everything,” he told a film crew of a documentary airing next week on British television. "I blame myself. It was my fault and I hate what I have done to myself.”

I've said it before and I'll say it again: how do people even afford being able to do this?  Obviously he has no job. 18 caregivers?!?!?!?