Filmvetter Film Vetting du Jour

Cruel Intentions:

It also includes a cringe-inducing courtship between Ryan Phillipe (as Valmont) and Witherspoon. Phillipe, tasked to deflower the chaste Witherspoon (she is the daughter of the headmaster), becomes “totally infatuated” with her. Why? Because she makes him laugh. How? Because during a car ride, she made faces at him by sticking her tongue out and screwing her nose up and using her fingers on the top of her head to simulate the look of a lunatic/horned beast.

Ryan Phillippe is at least 50x better-looking than me, and even I wouldn't bang that fugly bitch unless her pussy tasted like cool ranch and leaked $10 bills.  Ugh.