Glory Road is a Bag of Dicks, Now Confirmed; Also, I Set a Record for Self-Linkage, Which Isn't as Sexy as It Sounds

Marley from FILMVETTER takes a break from crying over John Edwards haircut almost a decade ago to point out a fact: Glory Road is an offensively shitty movie, and gets the "are you shitting me?" vomit-inducing ending correct:

The reason 5 black players got the start (and 7 played) was mundane - Haskins thought they were the best players.  Not so in the film.  Instead, we get some p.c. twaddle wherein Haskins tips his desire to make a statement to the team and the white players actually agree not to play so a larger societal point can be made.

How the screenwriter came to the conclusion that it was more edifying to make the achievement a gift from whites rather than earned by blacks, well . . . that’s for another day.

Besides the squeamish Disneyfication, as you already know nothing drives me crazier than when sports films alter history when doing so is not only unnecessary, but is actually LESS interesting than the historical truth - as much as I love Hoosiers, the truth is not only was Milan a great team that had almost gone all the way the year before, but what on Earth could be more exciting than Bobby Plump holding the ball on his hip for three and a half minutes while an entire state lost it's fucking mind? Why would Hollywood eschew this? How awkward does "eschew" feel there? Also, while we wanna believe that the state final was the first time the Huskers had ever seen black players, the real Milan team had kicked Oscar Robertson's Crispus Attucks team by 13 points. As a way of neatly wrapping this whole ting up in a bow, not only did the Big O go on to win the state title the next two years, CA being the first black team to win and of course were then asked to have their soirée away from civilized white people, thank you very much, but he also set the precedent for The Ewing Theory when Cincinnati won the NCAA title only AFTER Oscar left...and they did it twice:

The last two teams the Big O played on the Bearcats went to the Final Four, but never made it to the title game. Inexplicably, after losing what was prolly the best college player ever at that time and still in the Top 3 or so, the Bearcats not only went all the way and won it the next year - they did it again the year after that!! 2 straight titles after they got rid of the Big O, and BOTH in title games against Player of the Year Jerry Lucas.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), "YOUR review of Glory Road is so much better than Filmvetter's!"

Sigh.  Of COURSE it is, dummies!


NOTE: As of this posting, Filmvetter was calling REMEMBER THE TITANS "Return of the Titans;" I can only assume he purposely did this knowing I'd punch a hole through my computer screen with my nuts before my head exploded.


FURTHER NOTE: The interns over at Pedro Guerrero Type, who probably cry upon issue after relations, have always made fun of me for referring to the basketball hoop of my youth as a "goal"; I believe Bobby Plump using the same term in the footage below totally vindicates me.