MORE LOTTERY SHIT

NEW RULE: If you win the lottery, you have to quit your job.

These 10 co-workers just won about $14M each. Which is great for them. But of course they're claiming they wanna keep their jobs too. In today's "oh my god we need jobs!!" world, I see 10 jobs that should become immediately available. I mean, camon. -  XMASTIME

The people in Maryland who won the lottery are keeping their jobs:

They are public school employees who have been holding down multiple jobs. Now that they've won tens of millions of dollars in a historic lottery, they could stop. But instead, the self-declared "Three Amigos," who share a winning Mega Millions ticket, plan to keep their fortune a secret -- and keep working.

Each of the three will get $35 million after taxes, because they chose to take the lump sum rather than annual payments.

Whenever someone avows to keep working after winnings millions of dollars in the lottery we admire them and pat them on the back for being so...well, whatever. Dedication, I suppose. And while I'm sure they mean well, aren't they just being selfish dicks?

Upon learning that he had won $14 million in the New York State Lottery, Edward Foti had this to say:
“I found out I was a winner, and I went back to work,” celebrating only with a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch.

Such modesty begs the question: Why the hell did he play Lotto at all?