"You're Mickey Mantle, Goddammit!"

Maybe it's karma for the worst Hall of Fame speech ever given, but the Charlotte Bobcats are not only bad but historically bad, and the problem might be MJ himself:

Maybe Jordan is just happy to be Michael Jordan. Maybe he feels detached from the whole thing. But I have to believe that in some moments, as the greatest player ever watches one of the worst teams ever, he thinks to himself: "You used to be Michael Jordan. What happened?" 

I first kissed my high school girlfriend on his birthday (did you REALLY think you were getting out of this without an Xmastime link????), so I recuse myself from judgment.