College Schmollege, III

The founder of Five Guys on how he made so much $crillah:

My two eldest sons, Matt and Jim, said they did not want to go to college. I supported them 100 percent. 

Instead, we used their college tuition to open a burger joint.

Which is, as I've been saying for years, the way to fucking do it. Now those fuckers are sitting on miles of piles of cash.

The amount of money that parents have spent parking their kids in day care for grownups instead of letting them invest that mon ey in something useful is staggering. But what the fuck do I know - all I did was have sex in a Dairy Queen bathroom, FOR FREE, so don't bother listening to me. No siree.