Monday, July 16, 2012

Leaving

The only problem with living in New York City is that the only stars you ever see are on the ground. - XMASTIME
This guy HERE on leaving Brooklyn:
A lot of kids, me included, aspire from early on to live in New York because the crushing smallness of their birthplace pains them. They're the town faggot or the town dreamer and they stand in their backyards and look into miles of desolation and quiet, knowing with bitter certainty that nobody—at least nobody they think of as significant—cares about them. They feel trapped in a tiny town beneath a massive sky full of stars, and they know they'll be gone someday.
In New York you can't even see the stars. And not only do you feel like hot shit because of all the big things going on around you, the city itself makes you feel literally large, like you're living in a filthy dollhouse. Your feet hang off your too-small bed. Tourists and brown nannies with white babies are constantly in the way of your giant steps, keeping you from getting to all the great readings and gallery openings you need to attend (often it seems as if New York has no parties, only "events"). On a nice day, even massive places like Central Park can feel downright claustrophobic, cluttered with Frisbees, joggers, and more nannies. In your home, your concept of "alone" changes, as even while naked and masturbating in the shower, you can hear people fighting, cooking, crying, watching Maury, playing guitar, fucking.
His ticking off the very bars and streets I once roamed does not ease my slight homesickness.

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