ODDS: Odds Disaster Disappointment Syndrome

KRAMER: (Like a teacher) The Andrea Doria collided with the Stockholm in dense fog 21 miles off the coast of Nantucket

(Everyone's taken back by Kramer's knowledge)

GEORGE: How do you know?

KRAMER: it's in my book - "Astonishing Tales of the Sea" 51 people died.

GEORGE: 51 people?! That's it?! I thought it was, like, a thousand!

KRAMER: There were 1,650 survivors.

GEORGE: That's no tragedy! How many people do you lose on a normal cruse? 30? 40?! Kramer, can I take a look at that book?

KRAMER: Oh yeah. I also got "Astounding Bear Attacks"

One thing that kills me (whoops, bad choice of words there...I'm actually writing this so that in case the plane crashes, this will be the most ironic blog posting of all time) is whenever there is a plane crash, and the news people will lament that there are "only" 15 or so survivors. I'm like..."only"????!?!? wtf. How do people survive plane crashes? I'm in a tin box 6 miles in the air that plummets to the earth at an unspeakable speed, and I survive it? How the fuck does that happen? That, to me, is in my "Top 3 Least Preferable Deaths." You have a couple of minutes to sit there and think "great...I'm gonna die...not only are they gonna find my mangled body covered in my own shit, but I should've thrown out my porn before I left for the airport..."*

Meanwhile, since I'm a sexy, single man-about-town in our nation's capital, I'm at home watching The Waltons episode in which John-Boy witness the Hindenburg Tragedy. Of course I Wikipedia'd it and found out that as horrible as it looked, there almost twice as many survivors, 62, as deaths, 38. Am I going to hell for being disappointed in this? 

*This entire paragraph was straight-up lifted from one of my very firsts posts back in 2005. Which should be incredibly obvious - who needs to "throw out" porn anymore?