The Year in Xmastime: August

A Die Hard Movie I'd Like to See

(OPENING CREDITS)

1 minute in: Terrorists attack.
2nd minute in: John McClane gets called in to save the world.
3rd minute in: McClane squinting his eyes at the camera and lighting a cigarette says something inspiring/droll etc like "Someone picked a bad day to get John McClane outta bed."
2 seconds later: McClane steps on a bomb planted by the terrorists, explodes to bits.

(END CREDITS)