The Year in Xmastime: September

America. We DId It.

You've got a busy life going on. You need to catch up pretending to watch Breaking Bad, you're the last person who doesn't have the Daft Punk album. You're working on a amazing screenplay about a record store owner in Williamsburg who is a vampire  zombie  vampire  Miley Cyrus  PR exec based on Rasputin  vampire; meanwhile, continuously pointing out that people don't know how to drive in the rain isn't going to happen all by itself. So who's got time to actually pick up a cheeseburger and eat it, excruciating long bite after excruciatingly long bite? Certanly not you.

But fret not - your problems are over, thanks to cheeseburgers now being a soup. Thank god. Let some other sucker waste all that time chewing, while you're explaining to anyone lucky to listen that you of course don't own a tv.