Happy Valentine's Day

What with my over the top, bordering on the dangerous luck with the ladies, Valentines Day has always been a big deal for me. Let's take a walk through the years and, starting with 8th grade, see how each Valentine's Day went for our guy Xmastime.

1986: nothing
1987: nothing
1988: nothing
1989: bought rose for a girl I was into and later dated for two years. My first love. Of course by the time it got to her it had died and shriveled up. And that ended up being the highlight of our relationship.
1990: I think I got a keychain shaped like a heart from her. Ring-a-ding fucking ding.
1991: nothing
1992: nothing
1993: nothing
1994: had a girlfriend, but can't remember. Sounds like it was amazing.
1995: broke up with my college girlfriend on actual V-Day. ka-CHING! It’s called timing, people.
1996: nothing
1997: nothing
1998: nothing
1999: nothing
2000: nothing
2001: nothing
2002: nothing
2003: nothing
2004: nothing
2005: nothing
2006: nothing
2007: nothing
2008: nothing
2009: nothing
2010: nothing
2011: nothing
2012: nothing
2013: nothing
2014: nothing as of 12:10pm