Oh Death.

A few years ago HERE I wrote about the queerness of knowing you're about to die, and that we should be more curious about the subject:

If I was a mob guy and about to kill someone, I'd say "you're gonna die in 60 seconds. What's that feel like?" I think that would be an interesting thing to know. - XMASTIME

Apparently there's someone in China asking the same thing, which I think is the right thing for us to ask. There can surely be nothing more chilling than to realize you are moments away from death - what's that like? Is it calming? Is it terrifying? I reckon the only people who know exactly when they're gonna die are people on death row and people who commit suicide. The rest of us don't have that burden/luxury. Maybe it's An American Tragedy in me, who knows.

Clyde Griffiths, on the way to the electric chair, saying goodbye to his mother:

"Mama, you must believe I die resigned and content.  It won't be hard.  God has heard my prayers.  He has given me strength and peace."  But to himself adding: "Had he?"

Of course he hadn't: you lived an incredibly short life of 20 years.  You should be furious; what amount of "strength and peace" could possibly make up for "not existing"?

Good for him for questioning.  And has there ever been any talk re: why Dreiser wrote"he" instead of "He"?

Meanwhile, I think I would be a horrible, horrible shriveling mess of a man if I knew I was going to die in 60 seconds. I can promise you here and now, there will be no dignity in my death. I will shake and quiver and cry for any and every extra moment of life. 

Yesterday I stumbled upon THIS image of a Russian soldier during WWII knowing he was about to be executed:

It’s a pretty amazing picture. To capture the last few moments of life. He knows he will die in a few seconds, in a forest in the snow. And there he will bleed out and be forgotten. His life, his experience, has come to an end. What else could he do but smile? That smile was is final Defiance. Death smiles at us all, all a man can do is smile back.

My bold.