Weddings are Fun Unless You're Getting Married

Me, presumably sexily, years ago:

Today it occurred to me that a similar juxtaposition has been happening with the modern wedding - the more inured we've become to the outrageously absurd high costs of a wedding (ie $10k for a cake that nobody really gives a shit about), the higher the divorce rate rises. The more we insist on being made to pay for weddings, the less likely we'll be married as time goes on. Wtf? 

Turns out, however, that of course they don't HAVE to be expensive:

Here is what costs a lot of money: whims. Whims are expensive. Customizing the universe to meet your expectation of perfect, absolute gratification in all things is expensive, which is why only the rich tend to get to do it. This is a tough break for the rest of us. Thankfully, adapting our expectations—or, at least, moderating the quantity and volume of our complaining when those expectations are not met—is pretty cheap. The life of a real person with real-person adversity and real-person responsibilities gives you that one entirely for free.

 Here's a lifetime of Xmastime in weddings. You're welcome, Earth.