OFAH du Jour

True story, hand to God: I normally don't prefer sitcom episodes outside of their normal settings (e.g. the bar at Cheers) but two of my favorite Only Fools and Horses episodes are "A Touch of Glass" and "Friday the 14th." Whacky, right?!?!?!!?

Ummmmmm...

What universe are we a part of in which he’s not best-known for being Tim Riggins? Wtf?

Travels

‪Mad props to the father who when his little boy excitedly shouted “look! I see a train!!” didn’t reply “yeah we’re at a train station, genius.”‬

Analysis: Millions of Americans are complete fucking idiots.

Which Doobie You Be?

Incredibly, it's been over 40 years now.

Aha!

To everyone out there who never believed in me and said I’d never amount to anything THIS IS IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!

Questions. I Have Them.

How is it possible no one's come up with the band name Buffalo Springsteen?

Bad News If You’re Trying to Go to Union Market Today.

Gavin & Stacey

This one scene has almost everything that’s great about Gavin & Stacey in it (almost!)

1. Great song
2. Smithy's ebullience is contagious
3. "C'mon dickhead!"
4. The normally level-headed Gavin getting caught up in the fun
5. "Because it's Chrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiistmas!"
6. The "I'm not gonna tell you" switcheroo.
7. Of course Smithy hasn't even started Xmas shopping!
8. Perfect dudespeak, with "you're so gay!"

A perfect scene.

Happy Birfday!

To my little buddy Milla, who 6 years ago offered me up this chance for a beautiful, touching moment:

Milla: There's a rainbow - lets go catch it!!!!
Me: You cant catch a rainbow. Sit down.

Maybe he works at a golf club?

Conversations with a 6 year-old:

Her: what happens when you get to 100?
Me: ha! Well, most people don’t make it to 100. I won’t even come close, and since I’ll die all alone it’ll probably take weeks for someone to notice I’m gone and find me.
Her: (long pause, staring at me) no, I mean does it go 100, 101, 102, 103...?

I Will Admit This

His restraint in not taking credit for Curb Your Enthusiasm returning this year is remarkable.

Hi! I'm Businesscow!

...happy to help with the transfer of the ownership of goods or services from one person or entity to another in exchange for other goods or services or for money...

Well There Goes My Spring Plans

Oh For Fuck's Sake

If you thought 2017 was bad DC's Union Market now has bathrooms for skinny people only. Wtf?!?!?!

#WednesdayWisdom! (on Tuesday)

Only Fools du Jour

Grandad: They used to have little lads of 14 pretending they was 18 just so they could fight for their king and country!
Del: What, and they accepted the little sprogs?
Grandad: More often than not…my brother George lied about his age.
Rodney: Pretended he was 18?
Grandad: No, he was 18, he pretended he was 14. They saw through it though. I think it was the mustache.

Nom Nom Nom!

IMHO, the kitchen apparently watching Laverne & Shirley adds greatly to the already-high amount of delightfulness.

Something I Learned Today

Watching a basketball game at my age basically means screaming “he travelled!!!” at the tv for two hours.

Great.

So if I’m ever gonna go see the Ratatouille sequel (fingers crossed!) I’m gonna need to train like a Navy Seal first. Of course.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

‪I feel like we’re only a few years away from being rid of the generation who makes the “wow, I remember when phones were used for PHONE calls!” joke. ‬

Shitter News

I’m that perfect age of a generation that appreciates the environmental impact of tubeless toilet paper rolls but won’t buy them a second time because looking at them quite frankly weirds me the fuck out.

Truth Time

I really hate it and totally cringe whenever adults say “poop” instead of “shit.”

Congrats!

Hey, everybody's gotta be the best at something. With me, it's back farts.

January 1, 1998

Almost didn’t realize that 20 years ago today I moved to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. From a post ages ago:

“When I moved to New York City I had $7, which I immediately spent at White Castle. Then for weeks I wandered the streets looking for a job, with those roasted peanut carts wringing my guts out block by goddam block. Finally I'd had enough and was gonna give up for good when for some reason I walked into the old Tower Records on 42nd street, where on a huge screen the video for ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ kicked off right when I walked through the door as if it had been waiting for me. The timing was perfect; I WAS that guy walking down the street. It was the moment I realized I belonged in the city. It was the moment of my life. And I'll never forget it.”

I’m sure I’ll spend time tomorrow digging up old posts and being weepy.