Happy Dolly Parton Day

Oh, and ladies: might wanna stop choosing Aretha Franklin songs to cover. Seriously. Some of you do have good voices, but the last thing you want someone to do is sit back and think "boy, that Aretha sure could sing, couldn't she?" and then have to sit there and listen to your sorry ass. Do I show Ron Jeremy tapes in the boudoire before my acrobatics? - XMASTIME

The only correct answer here is 9 to 5, which can at least be a fun, drunken sing-along that nobody cares about. YOU wanna be the one competing with Dolly on the other two? Good luck with all that, motherscratchers.

As Del Boy once said after a trip to the doctor, "he said I'd live, but he didn't recommend it."