Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson,

Song Project Day 55

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 55: Bent Out of Shape (All Shook Down)

I couldn't lie if I tried
Yeah you kept me straight
It don't feel so good
But farts made me feel great
Bent out of shape

Song Project Day 54

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 54: Fuck School (Stink)

They laugh in the middle
Of my fart
Swingin in the hall
Out of reach

Fuck school fuck school fuck my school
Fuck school fuck school fuck my school
Fuck school fuck school fuck my school

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters,

Song Project Day 53

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 53: I’ll Buy (Tim)

Hey give my regards to Broadway, tell 'em I don't even care
If you want a good joke, why fart, we could go broke right here

Things I Like

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7,

Song Project Day 52

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 52: I Hate Music (Sorry Ma)

I hate music
Sometimes I fart
I hate music
It's got too many notes

Things I Like

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer,

Song Project Day 51

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 51: Little Mascara (Tim)

For the moon you keep shootin'
Throw your rope up in the air
For the farts you stay together
You nap 'em and you slap 'em in a highchair

Genius.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy,

Matt Berry du Jour

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Life and How to Live It

Every once in a while, not too often, you stumble upon advice that may actually be somewhat useful. 🤔🤷‍♂️🕺

Dafuck du Jour

I mean, The Beatles were rich, right? Why the hell can they apparently only afford one mug then? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Goals. I Have One.

Just once I’d like to have a woman come up and talk to me like this one. 🤗😜🕺

A Few Thoughts on Our Favorite, Me!

I truly LOVE LOVE LOVE whenever someone for whom Enlgish is thir second language gets up to give a speech or presentation at work. It blows me away, the balls to get up there KNOWING your English is just so-so, so when someone does it I find myself pulling for them like a goddam racehorse with a hundred bucks on its ass. Every line I sweat out for them, and are thrilled when they land each one. Not that they need my help of course, obviously they're extremely capable, but I just am very impressed by anyone who does this.

BUT.

When they do all the above, AND try to make a joke? That's when they've truly gotten me. The wherewithal/presence to know your English isn't great but you still try to land a laugh while getting through it? I will fight the entire bar for that fucker, every time. 🤗

It's All One Big Golden Age

We need to stop worrying about whether or not we're ever living or have lived during a "Golden Age" of something or other. The Universe is 13B years old. Let's assume it goes on for another 13B. That makes anyone's time here on Earth the size of an atom's atom inside the smallest atoms of an atom's atom. Or whatever, you get the picture.

This means that of all those years you get on Earth, THEY'RE ALL "THE GOLDEN AGE"!!! Your tiny part of a blip, one tiny blip out of 26B years? GOLDEN AGE! Every minute of it!

Feels pretty nice now, doesn't it? 🤗🕺

Today's "Republicans are Repulsive but Let's Just Get This Shit Out of the Way So I Can Have a Goddam Friday" Post

REPUBLICANS: there is nothing you can do if a bad guy wants to kill people, laws will not stop him, it is useless to try. Dead kids is just the price we pay.

ALSO REPUBLICANS TODAY: you know what, springing for a few doors could totally solve this problem. 

I love hearing Republicans being “OUTRAGED!” we sent $40B to Ukraine instead of spending it here to help with the whole schoolkids getting slaughtered problem. Argh!! JUST missed an opportunity to do some good works with that $40B here at home! They’re SO angry!

 

Bullshit.

 

Republicans like to pay for two things and two things only: unending war, and tax breaks for rich white people. Anything else they tell you is the aforementioned bullshit. They’re not interested in spending forty cents to stop your kid from getting murdered; the idea of them being so offended by the Ukraine $$ is laughable.

 

okay that's it these fucking gun people have officially gone too far now:

 

Egg Foo WHAT??!! Episode 2

Mike & I go on about me hating Southern literature, Timmy the a**hole Bo-hunk and some too-sexy Top Gun chat. OH and a new Chinese food dish attempted! So brave!!! :) #eggfoowhat

Song Project Day 50

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 50: Nightclub Jitters (Pleased to Meet Me)

They say "Now, don't be a stranger"
Hell, it really don't matter to me
I'd be willing to wager
That farts don't matter much
If we keep in touch
Don't matter much
'Cause I gotta touch

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro,

Quote du Jour

"My Mirror is my Best Friend Because when I Cry,  It Never Laughs" - Charles Chaplin  

Dang that’s good, CC! 

Garfield du Jour: The Day I Left Brooklyn

Aaaaaaaaaand the Garfield strip the day I moved to Brooklyn! 🤗

10 Years Ago Today

Wait - who was this “Anonymous”????!!?? WHAT IF SHE WAS MY SOUL MATE AND I MISSED THIS???!!!?  #goodbyeBrooklyn

Song Project Day 49

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 49: Raised in the City (Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash)

Raised in the city
Ready to drop
Cruise to the lake
Call my pop
Tell him that I'm fartin' just fine

More Thoughts on Republicans Being Trash

If one of our amendments is the main catalyst for our having to stand around shrugging our shoulders whenever another group of schoolkids is slaughtered then maybe it’s inherently not a great amendment and we should rethink it a bit?

 

If you could perform an abortion with a gun I bet Republicans would suddenly love abortion.

 

Current Status

My office is generally so empty that just by putting on a shirt with a collar I feel like a 1950's housewife vacuuming her living room in high heels.

Yikes

And based on what we now know from Mrs. Heard's testimony, who could've possibly known he was having an even WORSE day than me???? 💩

Usual Fucking Post

Remember: guns don't kill people, people do....well, usually with guns.

Ideas I Have Them.

There should be an Emmy category, Best Series of Which I Was Perfectly Happy to Watch the First Season and Not Bother with any Following Seasons. Recent nominees would include shows like The Flight Attendant, Hacks, Kevin Can F*ck Himself, Maid, The White Lotus and a bunch of others I'll think of throughout the day. Perfectly fine first season, enjoyed it, but don't feel the burning desire to jump back again, especially with so many other options out here 24/7 anyways. 🤷‍♂️

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show,

My Thoughts On Yet Another School Shooting

GUNS: undefeated against thoughts & prayers since 1999. MAGA, baby!

If Muslims are promised 72 virgins for pleasing Allah with a suicide bomb, what do Republicans promise slaughtered kids for pleasing the NRA?

 

May 24, 2012

10 years ago tonight was my last night living in Brooklyn. I don't really have a ton to say other than marking the moment, I guess. Not many days go by without me thinking of my time there. It was the perfect age, 25-39. And the ABSOLUTE perfect moment to move to Brooklyn. I wish phone cameras were more of thing back then so more of it would be documented, but oh well. I wouldn't trade my memories or people from those years for anything in the world. 

Maybe one day I'll write a more thorough account of my time there - hell, I've got 6 years worth of Xmastime posts to jog my memory. Until then, viva la Brooklyn! 🤗🕺

Happy Birfday!

Happy Birfday to one of my all-time best friends Dave, someone who knows how to riff like a MF for hours while chewing on styrofoam at the Turkey’s Nest. 🤗

He & his brother & Serge have been rumbling from under the bounds of the Earth lately, apparently readying the world for a massive 2022 Marah comeback. And they just posted this new video of the two of them playing an all-time Xmastime superslice, Why Independent Record Stores Fail. Time to get excited, people!

Fab Fact du Jour

Just putting this out there: as of October 16, Paul McCartney will have been alive exactly twice as long as John Lennon. 🤔🤷‍♂️

Song Project Day 48

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 48: Lovelines (Hootenanny)

Slightly overweight girls need farts also
Send your note and desires
Means of contact P.O. Box 8941

OFAH du Jour

Their drink orders sum each up quite well.

Del Boy: A shot of tequila, a shot of coconut rum and one of creme de menthe. A smidgeon of Campari with the merest suggestion of Angostura bitters, top that up with fresh grapefruit juice then shake it. DO NOT STIR. Pour that slowly over broken ice Garnish with a slice or orange slice of lime, your occasional seasonal fruits, top that off with a decorative plastic umbrella, two translucent straws and voila!

Rodney: Half a lager please.

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

Let It Be vs. Let it Be

Coupla weeks ago, after delivering our Internet-shattering Help! vs. Rubber Soul Tweet fight, Xmastime buddy Mike & I went head to head with The Replacements' Let it Be vs, The Beatles' Let it Be. Click through to read the thread, and you're welcome, Earf!

First up: Two of Us vs. I Will Dare. Two strong starters but I give the nod to I Will Dare mainly because of the "Fingernails and cigarette's a lousy dinner" line. Two of Us < I Will Dare. #LetItBeVSLetItBe #PaulVSPaul

— Mike Lisk (@APMike) March 31, 2022

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!",

True Love Ways

Buddy Holly died at age 22, only about 19 months after his first hit, back when Dwight Eisenhower was still president, but just take a look at the cast of folks showing up to celebrate his birthday. And I'm sure that's not even the half of it. Unreal.

LOVE LIVE BUDDY HOLLY!!!!!!

Song Project Day 47

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 47: God Damn Job (Stink)

I need a God damn girl
I need a God damn girl
I really need a God damn fart
I need a God damn girl

 

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels,

More Billionaire Shit

The other day I mentioned a little something about billionaires carefully framing themselves now as the "oppressed, put-upon class" that we're all supposed to sit around and feel bad for. WHICH S INSANE!!!

I'm not really a "THE AMERICAN EMPIRE IS ENDING TOMORROW!!!!" guy, but this is alarming:

Some 573 people have joined the billionaire ranks since 2020, bringing the worldwide total to 2,668, according to an analysis released by Oxfam on Sunday. That means a new billionaire was minted about every 30 hours, on average, so far during the pandemic.

Between that and our determined desire to fetishize billionaires, desperate to not inconvenience their tender feelings even for a second (anyone who thinks Musk will be forced to pay the $1B fee if he pulls out of the Twitter deal is out of their goddam minds), the odds of pretty much every presidential nominee from here on out being one of the "bored billionaires" I've warned you about, we really are fucked. Maybe not "fucked" as much as well I guess that's just who we are now. For most of us, "the American Dream" (which has always been bullshit anyway) will now become "if you cheer as loudly as possible for all the billionaires then maybe something good will happen to you to!" (it won't). The combination of our already wanting to worship these people + their brilliant marketing to make us believe that they're the aggrieved ones is the perfect storm that will make Americans sprint to the polls to please these people, no matter how much it only screws their actual lives over..

Oh well. USA?

There's No Laughing in Baseball?

Unless I can get a big laugh out of it I try not to do the ol’ “back in MY day…” blah blah blah bullshit, but I feel like the exception may be baseball books or movies.

Baseball has always been the best sports forum for funny books or movies because for 100 years, most of the players' time was spent sitting around bored to tears, which is how about 99% of all great comedy comes from. But nowadays, I’m *guessing* most of that time is spent staring at their phones with headphones on, so all of that time sitting around trying to entertain each other is pretty much gone. That’s not to say there’s not still plenty of funny moments, but the sheer number of hours being put into potential comedy every day has shrunk by I’d guess about 900000%, so. 🤔

Fuck All That Shit.

One thing the internet has taught us is that given a chance, introverts love telling anybody & everybody how much of an introvert they are. I don't really consider myself to be an introvert or an extrovert, but I've noticed the connotation of most of these breathless pattings-on-the-backs is the notion that somehow introverts are complicated, noble souls with SO much to offer if we'd just give them a chance, while extroverts are Chris Farley breaking tables over and over.

Fuck all that shit.

"Get in the Car, Marlene!"

Lovely video message from from the lovely one and only living BBC legend Sue Holderness, aka Marlene Boyce!

See the message HERE! 

1) I'm bummed I can't seem to embed it here

2) Hey, it's nice to meet a real fan of Xmastime! THANK YOU, SUE! :)

Since I can't embed the video, grrrrrrrrr, after you watch it place come back and enjoy a few great Marlene clips! :)

How great is it when a living BBC LEGEND is a big fan, you ask? Pretty great, if I may say so! 🤣 🤗🕺🇬🇧

Song Project Day 46

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 46: Attitude (All Shook Down)

Old habits are hard to break
And I don't know how much I can take
What I think is on the tip
Of my fart so I let it slip

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen,

Thank You, Earth!!!!

After only one week, the TAKE MY TEENAGE HEAD 25TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION has gone aluminum!! THANK YOU, EARTH! #blessed

#WhoWoreItBetter

Me Going Outside Today

How it Started/How it’s Going 😳😬

Macca Questions. I Have Them.

One of the more remarkable moments of the doc: while sitting around waiting for John to show up McCartney pulls the song Get Back out of thin air.  - XMASTIME

While that was a great moment in the Get Back doc, has anyone else wondered what happened to this melody, seconds before Paul lands on the song that would be their next single, Get Back? Why didn't they latch onto it, which sounds really cool to me? 🤔🤷‍♂️

DOCUMENTARY IDEA

Track down people who are the subjects of iconic comedians' bits - either in a positive light or in a negative light - and sit them down with the respective comedians to talk about it. Looking for investors, people!

Song Project Day 45

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 45: White and Lazy (Stink)

I'll spend my money on a swingin' chick
We turn around and make us sick
And I got some money, till we fart
I'm lazy, I'm white, and I'm sick

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel,

Hollywood Thoughts. I Have One.

The problem with almost all movies/shows based on a true story is that in the end, the makers never trust themselves that the reason they’re doing the movie/show in the first place - that the real story is amazing - is enough for the audience, so they end up ratcheting shit up to crazy and shoe-horning in a fucking romance that just takes up pointless time.

And with a show like Winning Time, where we see the producers rolling the dice by super-ratcheting up the crazy on a story still fresh in people's heads from only 40 years ago!!!! being rewarded by everybody (including me) watching it because it's so fucking entertaining, I'm *guessing* this problem will only get exponentially worse tout suite.

Mad Doggity Dawg!

I've mentioned before that Xmastime Hall of Famer Chris Mad Dog Russo just keeps getting better & better every year, and now my nephew Paddy Mac has discovered him - thank you, Stephen A. Smith! - which makes me happy as a clam. See: 🤗

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you live-blog Mike & the Mad Dog as the single greatest blog posting of all time only 15 years ago?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:

1:27 Dog just tried to say "Colorado." After three fly-bys, finally just plowed thru it "Carararro." Sounds like a Chinese guy ordering Sammy Hagar’s tequila. Ugly.

1:30 Mike now makes his official Yankee declaration “You will have your October.” Of course those 5 words took about 120 seconds to say as Mike inhales the fumes of his own genius. This kicks off the first hellacious Doggie laugh of the day, which sounds like someone shredding cardboard while stepping on a cat, but not as calming.

1:39 our first “hahahahaha say something funny Mike!” yelp from Dawg. Ironically, Mike... CONTINUE READING

This is a Great Question.

How does Popeyes not see this and run with it? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Don't Forget to Be Part of the Greatest Musical Moment of This Century!!!!

Now you can hear the all-time classic The Happy Scene e.p., TAKE MY TEENAGE HEAD along with outtakes, home demos MAYBE recorded on a tape recorder, a live show, original handwritten lyrics, gig fliers & more: HERE!

 

Oh no, gotta run  - looks who's calling for some rock advice!!!!

🤗🤣🕺🇬🇧

Wait - The Office AND a Dog? Yes Please!

The Manny's Memory Lane

The Short Bus coughs on me, trying to give me Covid, so I totally destroy his artist dreams. No regrets!!!

Song Project Day 44

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 44: I'm in Trouble (Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash)

I gotta hide, I better run
I'll try suicide, no no no that ain't no fun
You won't ever let me fart
You're in love and I'm in trouble

More Fab Four Friyay!

I realize that I am an unapologetic Beatles freak. But sometimes I feel like the end of Hey Jude is a gift to humanity. Bigger than The Beatles, bigger than us. Bigger than any god. - XMASTIME

One of rock's most distinguished critics SURPRISE SURPRISE agrees with me (having gone back in time to 1993, of course):

In his entry for the song in his 1993 book Rock and Roll: The 100 Best Singles, Paul Williams describes it as a "song about breathing". He adds: "'Hey Jude' kicks ass like Van Gogh or Beethoven in their prime. It is, let's say, one of the wonders of this corner of creation ... It opens out like the sky at night or the idea of the existence of God."

Xmastime agrees!

Fab Four Friyay!

Incredibly detailed documentation of a Beatles concert in 1966 by a girl who wanted future generations to know what it was like to see The Beatles live in concert. 

On page 6 Elaine documents The Beatles set list and the crowd response. When Paul played "Yesterday", the audience went silent, "and the only sound to be heard was girls sobbing".

Elaine ends her memory of the show that night by saying, "We had seen The Beatles & we had been fortunate enough to have tasted their heavenly ambrosia for a few moments, that was all that mattered." 

On the final page, the concert has ended, The Beatles have left, and Elaine and he friend Linda lingered to look at the empty stage. It is only then that Elaine says she felt like crying.

I wonder whatever happened to Elaine? I consider this artifact to be like The Beatles themselves giving us the Get Back documentary, a gift to Beatles fans that we cannot thank her enough for.

Thread: On August 16, 1966 a girl named Elaine went to the Beatles concert at JFK Stadium in Philadelphia. When she got home that night she wrote out 7 pages sharing her experience. It's a fascinating read, documenting the show as well as being a teenage girl during Beatlemania. pic.twitter.com/nxZcgW4CSn

— That Guy (@ThatGuy3002) May 16, 2022

OFAH du Jour

Yet ANOTHER thing Xmastime and the Queen of England have in common? Our love of the greatest show of all time:

Only Fools' appeal is so broad that you can even count the Royal Family amongst its legion of fans. They weren't just casual fans either, the Queen and her family so enamoured with the antics of the Trotters that they would regularly ask a special favour of creator John Sullivan and the producers of the show.

This was revealed by Nick Lyndhurst who explained that the royals would often send Buckingham Palace Officials to ask for advance copies of the latest Only Fools episodes. The Rodney Trotter actor joked that they must have enjoyed the exclusive tapes as they never gave them back.

Here they are performing for the Queen herself at the Royal Variety performance in 1986. 🤗🇬🇧

Hmm.

I guess my curiously over-the-top brilliant musings had different connotations before the pandemic? 🤔

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995,

Elon Musk Sucks

I mention all this because of course the latest version of this is Elon Musk, suffering with the affliction of "billionaire whimsy", which I guess is just the natural last act before an Empire finally crumbles for good. - XMASTIME

Elon Musk is a genius who had an interest in really changing the world for the better, but now that he's decided that as a billionaire that makes him the most interesting man in the world so instead he's angling to be the biggest asshole on Twitter, although he's suddenly hit a rough spot which has instantly turned him into the now most-fetishized of American heroes, the aggrieved Republican billionaire.

 

We're about 7 weeks away from "Musk has kicked off an exploratory committee for a possible '24 presidential run" and then we'll have a smarter/more competent version of Trump who thinks being a total shithead is "funny". Great.

In the midst of all this spiraling Musk bullshit, David Frum has the right note here:

Official Announcement. I Have One.

If anyone’s looking for a great band name, this is impossible to beat. YOU’RE WELCOME! #thehotdogs

Time to Enlist in the Egg Foo What?! Army

Yesterday HERE I posted the first dry-run of Egg Foo What?! But now you can follow along on Twitter like normal people dammit. Enjoy! 🤗

The first episode of Egg Foo What?!: The First and Only Podcast About People Eating Stuff is in the can. Big thanks to my co-host @XMASTIMEblog. If you'd like to join us on our deep dive into Chinese takeout, we recommend you try Egg Foo Young before the debut on YouTube.

— Mike Lisk (@APMike) May 19, 2022

Damn.

Everybody told Earl he'd never make it in the big city, but he just wouldn't listen.

Anyone Got an Update on Little Ice?

OH FFS Turns Out I'm Amazing at Photography Too??!?!?!?!

Nope.

Today's "Republicans are Repulsive but Let's Just Get This Shit Out of the Way So I Can Have a Goddam Friday" Post

Interesting that it's the "pulled myself by my bootstraps because I'm so AMAZING!" crowd who are the ones melting down/panicking about "being replaced" by groups of people they also view as inherently inferior. I wonder why. I mean gee, it's real mystery. 🤔🤷‍♂️

And now these idiots think George Carlin would love them? They've done the same with Jesus/Lincoln/MLK but if Republicans can be led to believe Carlin would be one of them then they're even dumber than I think, which is, to their credit, remarkable.

Egg Foo What?!

Huzzah! Join me & Xmastime buddy BayonneMike - he of the wildly popular Best Show starring radio/tv legend Tom Sharpling - as we take a weekly podcast romp trying to discover a Chinese food dish for me that's not my beloved egg foo young. Here's the first episode, enjoy!

DISCLOSURE: I didn't know this was actually going to be the first episode so don't worry, next week I'll turn up the comedy heat 😜

Song Project Day 43

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 43: Sixteen Blue (Let it Be)

Your age is the hardest age
Everything drags and drags
You're looking funny
You ain't farting, are you?
Sixteen blue
Sixteen blue
Sixteen blue

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr)

Song Project Day 42

PROJECT: every day, until I run out of songs, I will take a Replacements song and swap a word out for the word "fart". Wish me luck!

DAY 42: Hangin' Downtown (Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash)

Wait, date, no I can't fart
I gotta stick around, watch my show
I know it's better than the TV, and there's a whole lot to see
When you're hangin' downtown

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), 

jennie fennell(e)

Amidst all the crazy hullabaloo about the single greatest release in rock - nay, music history, let's take a moment to recall this amazing video sent to me from Jennie Fennelle herself on what was a night I still can't believe actually happened. :)

FROM APRIL 2015:

I wrote a song about her being my college's only other Ramones fan and now here's the amazing story of how jennie fennell(e) got The Ramones to tiny Longwood College 20 years ago this month. Awesome.