Watching Joey Chestnut embarrass some idiot who probably thought he was going to be the hero of the day reminded me of this gem from 2007:
I think my single greatest fear in this life is being in love with a
woman who is dating a douchebag. So I go up to the douchebag to kick his
ass and win my girl, but it backfires when HE beats MY ass in front of
her, and I look up and they're both laughing their heads off at what a
pussy I am. "I'm horny now" she'd say to him "let's go fuck!" while I
lay there hoping that's beer on the front of my pants.
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