Thursday, April 13, 2023

Printing Ages, Why?

This Instagram of Rainn Wilson watching a guy next to him on a plane watching The Office without realizing he’s sitting next to Dwight has been making the rounds today and rightfully so, it’s a funny quirky little thing that makes the internet the internet. But look closely at the post copy…"The Office star, 57"…dafuck? Why, in some random post having some fun about not really anything important at all, did they feel the need to just matter-of-factly tell his age? What could that possibly matter here?

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you point this phenomenon out over a dozen years ago?"
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did: 
Am I the only person who's ever wondered why they always list everyone's age in newspaper articles? It doesn't matter what the article is about, they always stick it in there.

"Jim Johnson, 39, was in line for gas and expressed 'yeah, these prices are tough.'"

And they never list the age as if to say the age is relevant, they never even imply why the age would be important to the story and listed in the first place. It's always so matter-of-fact, as if in the middle of talking to us the reporter has leaned in with a hand on my shoulder "you know, he's 39" and then goes on with the story. That REALLY drives me bananas, the matter-of-factness. And in what percentage of articles do you think the age is actually relevant? 10? 5? MAYbe? So about 90% of the time, the person's age is just an arbitrary thing they've stuck in there, right. Why not:

"Jim Johnson, O-negative, was in line for gas and expressed 'yeah, these prices are tough.'"

or

"Jim Johnson, doggy-style, was in line for gas and expressed 'yeah, these prices are tough.'" 
"Jim Johnson, twice a day and again if he's having trouble getting to sleep, was in line, 4th out of 10, for gas, regular, and expressed, belying his hawaiin shirt, 'yeah, these prices are tough.'"

 Whack, n'est-pas?

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