Dude Whose Lives I'd Like to Have List Update

5) I’m starting a “Dudes Whose Lives I’d Like to Have” list. So far I got Hef, Jimmy Buffet and Derek Jeter. As great as it’d be they each have their drawbacks, I suppose. Hef’s old. Buffett, you’d hafta sing ‘Margaritaville' every day. Jeter’s not 100% white. I guess it’s true, nobody’s perfect. - XMASTIME*

In a stunning turn, I believe I've landed on an addition to this group from Gen Z: the absolutely undeniable MrBeast. The guy's an Internet pioneer, he makes a gazillion dollars, and he does it all while both making himself and countless other people happy. He always seems to be having a great time, which always seems infectious to everyone around him. He's the antithesis of what we've (maybe wrongly) come to expect from his generation of young Internet scamps. I hope for his sake & all his fans he doesn't find himself embroiled in some noxious controversy like every other one of the dipshits in his (kind of) field.

Congratualtions, MrBeast!

Read all about our hero MrBeast HERE.

*even funnier from that post:

6) My personality test results here. Was really hoping I’d hit “Submit” and it would come back with “You’re Awesome!” or “Denzel –is that you??!?!!” I don’t know what any of it means, but apparently I’m a mix of Sally Struthers, Danny Glover and Donald Duck. I’m fat, too old for this shit and don’t wear pants. In other words, these tests are fucking dead-on. Wow.