Oh HELL No.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “wouldn't this be the exact opposite of how you want your wife to act after you're dead??"

Sigh. Yes it is, faithful readers, YES it is:

I’m putting this down in black & white: not now, nor will I ever proclaim that I want my wife to get remarried. If she starts throwing out that garbage “Oh Xmastime would want me to move on and be happy” SHE’S LYING!! DON’T BELIEVE HER!!! I’m looking to assign someone the job of making sure she visits the cemetery at least once a week and hurls herself on my grave wailing uncontrollably for an hour or so. Let me know who’s up for that one.