The Gul!

The brilliant Gary Gulman kills it with a bit about Chipotle 🤣

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you point out something similar you do years & years ago?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did: 

5) One thing I do in restaurants that I really need to stop doing is physically pointing out what I’ve ordered from the menu to the waitress. And you know me, I always get a fucking cheeseburger, but when the waitress looks at me I always hold up the menu and point to the listing “Yeah, I’ll have the cheeseburger deluxe…with fries…” as if I’m the first person ordering a cheeseburger. And then I hear myself reminding the poor woman that “deluxe” means “with fries”, cause I’m sure she’s spent most of the day serving people sliced-almond framboise with snow peas and cranberry moo goo gai pan and my order of a cheeseburger with fries is gonna throw the kitchen for a curve. I’m waiting for a waitress to grab the menu and look perplexed “The wha? What the…well. I’ll see if Tony can make this.” I’m such an idiot.