State du Moi

I go to the actual movie theater about once every time Kohoutek makes an appearance in our heavens but suddenly I find myself looking down the barrel of both the Naked Gun reboot (READ ABOUT IT HERE) AND a biopic on President Garfield (READ ABOUT IT HERE) so now I'm paralyzed with choice all of a sudden.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “hasn't Garfield's assassin always been your favorite presidential assassin?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I di- OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE I'm not gonna bother linking any shit you people have seen me blather on about Charles Guiteau for over a decade now go on and crack a goddam book open for yourselves (see how upset I am not with all these movies coing out at the same time?!?!!?)