Thankfully, We're Terrible at This

Basically, I'm just sitting back waiting for a phalanx of nations news reporters to descend upon my city to ask me about how I noted all this brilliance about us being bad at presidential assassinations all the way back in 2008:

Another way my generation sucks is our lack of quality assassinations. Look at the generations before us - you had the Golden Era of Assassinations, the 1960s, that had it all: JFK, MLK, and, just to show how badass they were, another Kennedy with RFK. Maybe you have to be monogram-ly friendly to be considered an assassination candidate? Then they got Sadat, they at least tried to get Reagan and they rotated on a weekly basis who got to try to pop Ford. Fucking hell. AND, just to show nobody was safe they blew five holes in the world's biggest rock star who was of all things a peace-loving hippy.