Wait, Hold Up

Did Steve Carrell get his meme-iconic grimace face from Charlie Brown???!!?!? 😮😮🤯🤯

OK I'll Try to Make This the Last Beatles Post Today

Since nobody asked, I took the 16 songs that did not make my single-album version of The White Album, sorry not sorry the 16 songs that did not make my single-album version of The White Album, and made a 4-song ep out of my favorites and here they are. You're welcome, Earf! 

Also, I Will Say This

How is there never been a serious great movie made about being a member of The Beatles fan club in 1964?

I'll Say This

...my harsh review of Beatles '64 below notwithstanding, I am resolute in my belief that footage of The Beatles on the Amtrak train from New York to DC after appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show should be its own Pluto TV channel, just over handing us its absolute joy and over on a loop. I'd watch nonstop and I doubt that would make me a fraternity of 1. 

Beatles Movie Review

Beatles '64
11/29/2024, Disney+

via IMDB:

Captures the band's electrifying 1964 US debut amid fan frenzy. With rare behind-the-scenes footage, it chronicles their unprecedented rise to global superstardom after performing on The Ed Sullivan Show to over 73 million viewers.

Overall the thing's fine but I think that if you have enough rare footage of The Beatles themselves during this time period to qualify as a film then just show that instead of making us pretend to give a shit about some non-celebrities' stories; the random interviews with kids in the streets were really fun & added to the spirit of the whole thing, but then who were these people we kept having to go back to throughout for their story, that nobody gives a shit about? Dafuck - JUST SHOW US ALL THE BEATLES FOOTAGE YOU HAVE!!

They REALLY leaned into the whole JFK assassination thing in the beginning; I couldn't help but make a "oh great we've barely started and it's already 1-0 England" joke.

If I have to give the film credit for something, they never pulled the trigger on pushing the new release of the band's American albums, of which you people already know my opinion FUCK YOU DAVID DEXTER. 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 I was bracing myself for it to be a bit of an infomercial, but it wasn't.

Why so little new Paul and Ringo? If you had hours of them on film from you specifically interviewing them for this film, why do we only get a few minutes total of each, somehow fucking fewer than (insert name of one of the aforementioned non-celebrities here)? 😡 😡 😡 😡

I mean I'm always glad for anything new Beatles but this was just a grade-C version of Ron Howard's Eight Days a Week, with just barrels of wasted opportunity sitting there.

INTeresting...CURIous, Even...

Every time I re-watch The Sopranos I'm reminded of how little Silvio is actually onscreen throughout the show's run. 🤔🤷‍♂️

Wanna Feel Old?

This is the baby from the Nevermind album cover today. 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Ye Olde Xmastime Scrapbook

Lil' Scottie, my grand-niece at 13 months 🤗 🕺

This is the best photo out of about 50 cuz she was sick and hated me for the first few minutes. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Happy Thanksgiving!

And remember that if you need some shady shit handled you may wanna try Woodstock since he seems to have no problem chowing down on a fellow bird. 😬😲😜🤣🦃🦃

Country-Western Song Title

You Can't Touch My Heart (If You're Wearing Mittens)

Great Question following the Death of Jim Abrahams

Is The Naked Gun superior to Airplane! in the same way Leave Home is better than The Ramones' first album in that it's "the same" but just done better thanks to standing on the shoulders of its own giants? 🤔  🤷‍♂️

Xmastime & The Short Bus

Enjoy your travels by taking a trip down memory lane with this Thanksgiving classic 🤗🤣🕺🤣🤣🤣 #planestrainsandautomobiles

Death of a Comedy Legend

 Incredible, overlooked scene that I've spent 35+ years thinking about.

The bribe scene from The Naked Gun.

RIP to the comedy icon Jim Abrahams. pic.twitter.com/fVhZpZx0Vo

— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) November 26, 2024

😡😡😡😡

Beverly Hills 90210 du Jour

Let us all never forget that the entire reason Kelly became friends with Brenda in the first place was because she didn't wanna sit next to the fat girl. 🤔🤷‍♂️

Ah Yes...

.

...TFW the Universe finally finds you.

Please Don't Ever Die, Pete Best

Almost immediately after Pete Best got kicked out of The Beatles they became the greatest cultural phenomenon of the last century....meanwhile, Best is 83 years old, so.... what's gonna happen to the human race when he gets kicked out of it? 🤔🤷‍♂️😬

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

Since I moved into my new apartment in March I’ve owned 4 plates, the exact same 4 plates. I know this because one day I walked down to Wegmans, bought a set of 4 plates, and brought them upstairs to my apartment where I've placed food on them, carried them from my kitchen counter to either my couch or desk, eaten food off them, carried them back to said kitchen counter, placed them in my dishwasher, washed them, and then placed them in their respective cabinet spot so the whole thing can start all over again. At no time have any of these plates remotely come close to finding themselves in any part of my tiny apartment other than the aforementioned places, so any dreams of an idea of them leaving my apartment is beyond absurd.

And yet now I have 3 plates. One is missing, and it's outside of my realm of possibilities re: what the fuck could've happened to it.

So...that's where we are right now, people.

The World Needs Anthony Jeselnik Right Now

I've always loved John Mulaney but is his latest special just what specials are gonna be from now on, hour-long deeply meta PR spin controls reacting to news the comedian knows we all know? - XMASTIME

I've been excited for Jeselnik's upcoming special for a while now; unlike the now-endless stream of comedians walking us though their personal lives in reaction to how they've seen us react to their personal lives being reported on throughout in the media - John Mulaney's was the worst case of this and has my spidey senses tingling about the flush of shitty comedy we're gonna be getting like it for a few years - it'll be good to see a comedian with fucking jokes once again (Watty & I saw him a few months ago & he fucking crushed it).

All of this is to say I agree with everything he said on Maron yesterday.

GET THEE OVER TO NEFLIX NOW AND WATCH, MOTHERSCRATCHERS!!

Did Xmastime Ruin America Forever Back in 2011?

A lot has been made over the years since Obama made fun of Trump at the 2011 White House Correspondents Dinner that the moment was somehow what prompted Trump to run for president and is the very reason our lives are bow more miserable because of him, and while that's not something I spend a lot of time thinking or worrying about, right now I AM thinking I need to start worrying about someone finding out what I wrote as the diner was unfolding before all of our eyes...in other words, what if hundreds of years from now historians realize that the reason King Trump was chosen to be elected & destroy America was because during that very White House Correspondents Dinner I pointed out how much he looks like Dennis the fucking Menace and that watching Americas's lovable scamp fucking shit up was just too much for millions of voters to pass up?

The DC Metro is Bullshit

Why does the fucking DC Metro not offer a 5-day pass, ie one that would make the most sense for a mostly-commuter rail system? Three is good for today's post-lockdown hybrid work schedule world but why offer a 7-day but not a 5-day? Do we really think that all the commuters coming in from NOVA/MD, which I'm *guessing* makes up like 80% of the the entire system's ridership, are JAZZED! about having to pay for theoretical weekend rides in order to get all 5 days for their weekly work commute? "Oh bOY, this means I can take the absolutely worthless/shitty weekend Metro around Washington DC all weekend for no real reason if I want?? YES!!!"? And while theoretically the 7-day pass works out to being cheaper per day than anything else, if you buy it just to use it for M-F it works out to $12/day, which is more than the 3-day pass.

So in other words it's under the guise of "7 is more than 5 so it's better!" but in this case that's total bullshit, like making you pay for cable channels you (or anybody) will never watch, and yet another thing in this cruel cold world - like the MLB network ratfucking us loyal subscribers by  blacking out games - that I woulda guessed people far richer & more powerful than I would've bitched out of existence by now.

Want du Jour

Relics (Speakeasy Corner), circa 1928

Illustration by Martin Lewis.

Via DARK & GLOOMY ART 

For some reason when I first glanced at this I thought it was somehow "Edward Hopper meets View of the Boulevard du Temple". 🤔 🤷‍♂️

Would You Look at That

Via the PBS doc on Leonardo Da Vinci - and let me be clear, anyone who tries to claim that not once while writing about this doc have they started writing "DiCaprio" after "Leonardo" is full of shit - we see that apparently even back in Leonardo Da Vinci's they had their own version of "oh no we can't do high definition television cuz it'll make the actors look bad that big & up close!" 😜🤣

WELL WEll Well....

Five years ago I wrote:

After wasting years & years of thinking I had to use a more rustic bread for my beloved Bumblebee tuna fish sandwiches, I recently went back to the ol' faithful of white Wonder Bread.

And today we read OH GEE WHAT DO YOU KNOW, all the fancy-pants restaurant geniuses who fight hard every day to try & prove they shouldn't just blindly follow my lead on all things have once again collapsed once again into submission to me & my genius:

White bread — long synonymous with “bland” and “boring” — is cool again. It can seem it’s all but replaced chewy, slapped-and-folded, tangy sourdough, which for more than a decade was the de facto carbohydrate at stylish American restaurants.

I remain, as ever, humbled by my own humble genius. 😔

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady lyric:

"And she said that she would wait for me
As long as Lucinda made us wait for Car Wheels"

You’re welcome, The Hold Steady!

SINBAD: Still One of the All-Time Greats

Comedians come and comedians go but this 1993 Sinbad special AFROS AND BELL BOTTOMS is still on my Mount Rushmore for all time; I've ripped off every movement and inflection from this ever since I found myself watching it with my college girlfriend's father about 30 seconds after meeting him back in 1993.

ALSO JUST AS GREAT: his previous special, BRAIN DAMAGED. Incredible. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Questions. I Have Them.

Has The Sports Guy Bill Simmons ever written about who would win a fictional high school basketball game between the Hickory Huskers & Carver from The White Shadow? 🤔🤷‍♂️

OLD BS ON HOOSIERS

OLD BS ON THE WHITE SHADOW

Let Me Take You Down

Just the other day I mentioned to someone that while John Lennon wrote a million great songs in The Beatles, anytime you hear anything "interesting" in one of his songs, the odds of it being because of Paul is about 90%. - Xmastime

Obviously McCartney jumping off the top rope with the Mellotron for Lennon's classic-beyond-classic Strawberry Fields Forever is just one of the kazillion best examples of this. 🤗🕺❤️🙌

OTD 24NOV1966 One take of John’s ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ was recorded at Studio Two, EMI Studios, Abbey Road. (Below Paul talks about the use of the mellotron on the record) #Beatles #TheBeatles pic.twitter.com/p9TemY6yS9

— Beatlesfab4ever (@Beatlesfab40) November 24, 2024

Ba-da-ba-ba-PA!, Not Loving It

So....nobody's gonna talk about McDonald's all-day breakfast seemingly disappearing overnight?

FROM POMME DE TERRE TO CŒUR DE TERRE, by Xmastime

Oh Oh.

My next door neighbors, whoever the hell they are, appear to have overheard my grandiose 3-Christmas Tree holidays plans & decided to declare war; I'd wish them well but as the saying goes they seem to have brought a wreath of holly to a gunfight so let's just see this plays out, people.

Bearly There, with Xmastime

If You Buy This Box ("Box"? Or "Boxed"?) Set We Are No Longer Friends

MOJO Magazine of all magazines should be embarrassed for letting itself get fucking paid to try & tell you there's value in forking over your money for the new box set (box set? or boxed set? does anybody know, and will they ever?) of the American, bastardized versions of the first brilliant Beatles albums. As I've winged on & on about for years (scroll down through here, plenty of h8n' to feast on), David fucking Dexter's name should be a punchline or shortcut to acknowledging shitty & shady behavior; calling someone a "David Dexter" should have the same effect as calling someone "Benedict Arnold", and anyone who encourages anyone to buy these albums today should be shunned from society forever. 😡😡😡😡

Nailed It.

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

So right now the game seems to be “let me show how I’m the smart Democrat by beating up on the Democrats right now” and everybody’s in first place.

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime.

I consider myself to be a man of the people but only because there's nobody else.

Me. I'm Really Happening, Aren't I?

On one hand I seem to bitch nonstop about how cold it is and on the other hand I seem to be under the impression that if I feel even 1 degree of heat in my apartment I'll instantly fall asleep, so.

Questions. I Have Them.

Are we never gonna get together as a people and admit the fact that were it not for farts, the balloon would never have been invented? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Amen du Jour

The White Album was released 56 years ago today 22 November 1968. Here is Paul McCartney’s view on the album. #Beatles #TheBeatles #WhiteAlbum pic.twitter.com/jp2qFAc6IR

— Beatlesfab4ever (@Beatlesfab40) November 22, 2024

The State of Xmastime

Me: I really don't understand people's fascination with a different-colored vinyl for an album they already love

Also me:

I Don't Even Like Coffee.

So...

...hopefully this means I will live to 112? 😬🤞

Obviously I Celebrated Privately

Hey Rain

I've been blathering about STUFF BY MARK for years now & I finally bought two prints of my own; my favorite Paul song and my favorite John song.

CHOOSE YOUR OWN FROM HUNDREDS OF OPTIONS HERE!!!  🤗🕺🕺

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

Last night I realized that I had the dishwasher, stovetop, oven, air fryer, washer, and dryer all going at the same time and it made me wonder, "is this what adults do?" 🤔🤷‍♂️

Welcome to Snowpocalypse '24

Hope you didn't miss Winter this morning, it did last all of about 9 minutes.

Come On Let's Go

Andy Paley died yesterday; I don't know a lot about the Paley Brothers but I do know than they sang an INCREDIBLE version of Come On Let's Go in Rock 'n Roll High School that was unique in that it's the only lead vocal ever on a Ramones recording by a non-Ramone:

The single was recorded while Ramones lead singer Joey Ramone was ill (and so he does not appear), and before drummer Tommy Ramone left the Ramones.

Not only is it a great recording, but anytime I hear it I instantly go back in time to those first, early moments of discovering the band that would be the music love of my life. 🎸🕺🤗

The Sound of Autumn

Xmastime Films Presents:

THE MAGIC OF THE NEW BUTTER MEETING THE NEWLY CLEANED BUTTER PLATE, by Xmastime

It's a Christmastime with Xmastime! 🤗🕺 🤣🎅🎄🤣🤣

Air Macca!

Over the decades & various podcasts I've probably heard Bill Simmons speak on more topics than anyone on Earth ("anyone else on Earth"...as in, where the fuck else would they be?") and time & time again he's shown that he doesn't know that the fuck he's talking about whenever he veers into music. - XMASTIME

While I stand by my above statement I must give Simmons credit for something; upon re-listening to his 2021 podcast with legend Chuck Klosterman I was impressed with him comparing the 2021 Beatles doc Get Back to The Last Dance

UNTIL

You guessed it, Universe, he was merely repeating word for word what I had written on these very pages 11 months earlier:

Paul McCartney, who I am hereby officially decreeing to be the Michael Jordan of rock and roll. After Revolver and retiring from touring in 1966, The Beatles were ready to, after going non-stop for almost a decade and showering the world with enough albums and singles for a lifetime, kick their heels up and rest a little bit. Sure they'd record again, but they wanted to go at a more leisurely pace and see what else was out there in life to enjoy.

But not McCartney. Every other Beatle has gone out of their way to bitch and moan about how Paul would nag at them to get back to work, dragging them back to Abbey Road for yet another project. It's kind of funny whenever you hear Ringo tell the stories over and over now, but what if Paul hadn't pushed them to keep working so hard? There'd be no landmark Sgt. Pepper, no sprawling White Album. No bare-boned Let it Be, no majestic Abbey Road. No Hey Jude, Lady Madonna, and on and on. Even if they had stopped in 1966 the Beatles' legacy would have been cemented, but we'd be without such incredibly cultural-shifting pieces of art - jut try imagining the world around us without them existing as part of it. And we have Paul "I Wanna Be Like Mike!" McCartney to thank for it all.

CONGRATS ON RIPPING OFF THE BEST OF THE BEST, BILL SIMMONS!

Movie Ideas. I Have Them.

As part of her divorce settlement a wife gets to work at her husband's company, where between derailing workplace efficiencies and spreading unfounded gossip she makes his life miserable on a daily basis.

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS, PEOPLE! 💰💰💰💰

Shel Talmy Show

 I mentioned HERE last week about beyond-legendary record producer Shel Talmy dying at 87; enjoy this radio celebration of his career (take a look at the playlist to have your mind blown re: what this guy did).

Ideas. I Have Them.

Saturday Night Live should do an episode where the cast is made up of an All-Star team of former hosts like Alec Baldwin, Justin Timberlake etc; not former cast members but former guest host.

I'll Say This.

I really don't understand people's fascination with a different-colored vinyl for an album they already love; "oooooooh here's the exact same album but in a different COLOR, now pay us double!"....because red sounds better than black? What?

I mean I know I roll my eyes at completists who insist on re-buying shit that's been remastered every 5 years, but at least you can argue the sound is actually different, which obviously is not the case if the only difference is the fucking color of the vinyl.

I recently had to re-buy a bunch of my Kinks albums and Face to Face showed up with purple vinyl; if ever anybody was hanging out at my place and saw it I'd have to pretend I was my own twin and the real Xmastime has moved to another town.

Advice for Young People. I Have It.

I don't consider myself to be a man of great wisdom and I don't think anybody ever looks to me for advice but as I see all the young people in my life growing closer to adulthood there's one piece of advice I would like to pass on to them: in this thing called life you wanna do something worthy of being made into a documentary about you but not something worthy of being made into a serial podcast hosted by two women.

PREVIOUS ADVICE HERE

You'll Never See Anything Like This On SNL Ever Again ❤ 🎸

#OTD November 20, 1976 – Paul Simon / George Harrison (S2 E8) hit the stage on 'Saturday Night Live' to perform "Homeward Bound" and "Here Comes The Sun."
pic.twitter.com/QqP4FhWK2T

— Carlos 🎧 🌈🌙 🇦🇷 ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (@carlosgvizcaino) November 20, 2024

T. Slade

I can't explain it so I won't really try but there's something magical about both T. Rex & Slade that make me think about one when I think about the other, and I kinda wish we could all agree to morph them together into one amazing band whose album would be off the charts amazing and all the rock we'd need for a while? 🤔🤷‍♂️🎸🕺

New Xmastime Series!

I call this one, "Shitty Comments I Make in My Head That I Don't Actually Post Because I Don't Wanna Put Such a Thing Out into the World". Enjoy, everybody!

Moi Say Moi

if the woman on the train I’ve fallen madly in love with who is looking over my shoulder just saw fucking Don Henley randomly pop up on my Spotify I’m literally gonna kill myself. 

Xmastime on God

...Sunday is the day of rest, as its the day God rested. The God Squad always goes out of its way to tell you that during the Creation "...and on the 7th Day, God rested." What the fuck...what's the big deal with telling us God rested? If God is so awesome and powerful that he can create the whole universe in a matter of days, is he really the sort that would need a break? And then after this big day of rest, what happened? Nothing. There's no big "8th Day" in the Bible...so what the fuck was he even resting up for? Why didn't these people make it so that he took a break between days 3 and 4, which would at least make SOME sense? Whack to me. - XMASTIME

Why do people think God’s so impressed with hard work? Entire religious value systems are built on the premise that God appreciates hard work for hard work’s sake and that’s how you get into heaven, but why? God, who is all powerful, took a few days to wave his hand and create the entire Universe but he’s supposed to claim to be so impressed/care about us working hard down here on Earth? I was created by the guy who can do anything with the wave of his hand and my entire raison d’etre is supposed to somehow be tied into how hard I work? Really?

I know it’s a wild coincidence that a lot of the people who espouse such a belief just happen to be the beneficiarie$$$$ of so many people being dedicated to believing in it, but I’m also *guessing* that a couple thousand years ago some guy realized his workers would work a little harder for him if he somehow convinced them that their working hard was so important not to him, but to God.

I don’t wanna turn this into some usual “of course religion/God is just rich people fooling poor people into giving them more of their own value” social commentary on my end, no matter how brilliant it may be, I just wanna point out how weird it is that out of all the values for us to latch onto re: pleasing God one of the big ones is…how hard I bust my ass building a fence? Or that I insist on working at my job 90 hours a week? We’re each on this Earth MAYBE 80 years out of an infinite eternity and we’ve decided that “showing how hard we’re willing to work ourselves to the bone” is the thing that’s gonna get us into heaven? Seems a bit like bullshit curious to me.

Sandwich Failure

I wouldn’t say I have a “policy” on how to eat a sandwich, but normally I 100% make a point of starting with one of the rounded corners that I consider to be the top of the bread, i.e. the exact opposite of what I just did here. Like I said I don’t really have a set policy, but this is pretty much all I've been able to think about in the last two hours since I bit into this goddam thing like a fucking lunatic. 😡🥪

(And yes people before you even ask that IS how I like my women: fishy, fully stuffed & covered in mayonnaise. 👍)

More Questions. I Have Them.

Black people famously use lotion a lot more than white people, so why isn’t there black-colored lotion? Why is lotion always white; is this just another subtle weapon of white supremacy? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Questions. I Have Them.

As I get older, while the spirit is always willing – eagerly – I find my stomach reeling at the very idea of eating greasy, oily food, but why? Why do our stomachs get LESS good at handling grease etc. as we age? Shouldn’t it be backwards, shouldn’t my stomach be battle-hardened after decades of eating shit? Why do our young, soft pink & untested handle these things so much better? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Malice, Palace, Some Thoughts on Ron Artest's Maybe genius

Last night I about passed right out when I realized The Malice at the Palace took place 20 years ago. It turns out that Ron Artest got suspended for a month, which reminds me of brilliant 'ol me pointing this out back in 2007: 

Most people remember Artest’s fight at the Palace in 2004 –NBA player jumps into stands to fight, the world’s over we should all kill ourselves. Okay. But what got lost in that shuffle and what continues to both amaze me and crack me up is that earlier in the season, Artest had walked into his team’s offices and asked for a month off to promote a cd he had made for some girl group friends of his. The gumption and stupidity to walk in and ask for such a thing – Ron, my cap will always be doffed. Never forget, people!

I've never noticed anybody else bringing this up, which is no surprise since the Universe is usually limping along about 23 decades behind me, but I guess my question is did Artest brilliantly set up the fight so he’d get suspended for a month after all? What DID Artest do during that month; did he *just so happen* to (checks notes) promote a cd he had made for some girl group friends of his? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Stuff by Mark! Again!

"A series celebrating mid century graphic design by reimagining the songs of The Beatles as old film posters."

I mentioned him again just the other day but he keeps dropping more & more incredible stuff seemingly every day now. 🤗🕺🎸

SEE ALL OF STUFF BY MARK'S INCREDIBLE STUFF BY MARK HERE

When Using Siri for Your Notes Goes Wrong

I have no fucking idea what this means.

Nothing But a Big Fat TRICK Here, Everybody

John Lennon famously had the Harlem Children’s Choir sing on his iconic Happy Xmas (War is Over) Christmas classic; I’ve loved the song for decades like everybody else, but only just now realized this little nugget:

The Harlem Community Choir – 30 children, most of them four to twelve years of age – came to the studio on the afternoon of 31 October to record backing vocals for the counter-melody and sing-along chorus.

My highlight. Of course in my own head ("in my own head"....as opposed to me being in somebody else’s head, I suppose?) I assume that any kid would be nothing but 100% thrilled at the chance to be involved with singing on a an ex-Beatles’ record, but the reality is I’m guessing there was a recording room full of outraged kids singing their hearts out that night. 😬😜🤣🕺

 

Of course later when Lennon realized what Halloween was & what had happened he deluged the kids with what I'm sure was the candy haul of their lifetimes.  😜🤣🕺

Stuff This!

Why is there no Stove Top stuffing popcorn flavor? - XMASTIME

Yesterday at work a guy brought in stuffing-flavored popcorn; it was so good that as I inhaled it I couldn’t believe stuffing seasoning isn’t liberally dumped onto everything. Later that night I found myself picking at a bowl of plain popcorn, and I felt like what Henry Hill said at the end of Goodfellas about ordering spaghetti with marinara sauce & getting egg noodles and ketchup: I’m an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.

ChatGPT Yeah You Know Me

I asked ChatGPT to give a brief summary of today's posts so far, and this is what I got...pretty accurate on all counts, honestly. 😬

As of November 20, 2024, the Xmastime blog features several posts covering a range of topics:

Moi Say Moi: The author reflects on memorable compliments received over the years, including comparisons to The Modern Lovers and Matt Berry.

State du Moi: A lighthearted admission of struggling with fashion choices, humorously noting a losing battle in the “pants game.”

Trump Appoints Kim Kardashian Secretary of Butt Stuff: A satirical take on political appointments, suggesting an unlikely and humorous cabinet position.

More Tributes to EDWARD HOPPER Like This Pleeeease! ❤️: The author shares appreciation for Phil Lockwood’s 2012 artwork “The Office at Night,” inspired by Edward Hopper.

Moi Say Moi: A reflection on moments that evoke feelings of aging, acknowledging how certain experiences resonate more profoundly over time.

These entries showcase the author’s blend of personal anecdotes, humor, and cultural commentary.

Moi Say Moi

The three nicest things anyone's ever said to me are when the guy at Fat Possum Records said my record reminded him of The Modern Lovers, when after knowing me for 3 years a Jewish guy said he thought I was Jewish, and today when a guy said my sense of comedy reminded him of Matt Berry. 

State du Moi

Guys I’m losing the pants game out there & if I'm being honest it’s not even close.

Trump Appoints Kim Kardashian Secretary of Butt Stuff

More Tributes to EDWARD HOPPER Like This Pleeeease! 🤗 ❤️

The Office at Night
Phil Lockwood, 2012

Moi Say Moi

When it comes to the ol' "omg this makes me feel old" game, some things just hit harder. 😭😭😭😭

7 Songs in Before 1 is Spelled Right

THAT is how you do it, people. 🫡 🎸

Big Bear!!!

I mean look I've just saying, Big Bear's been over there at college for about 10 weeks now & *suddenly* we're seeing this? Coincidence? I THINK NOT!!!! 🤗🤣🕺🤗🕺🇮🇪

Hmm.

Coming home off the Metro tonight I found myself gliding down the escalator a few steps behind a rather stout young gentleman who seemed to be enjoying whatever tunes were grooving into his headphones; I didn’t really care since I’m fine to just fucking stand on an escalator - if God wanted us to walk stairs he would’ve invented stairs, people - but a lady came bouncing down past me to my left and was eager to get past said young gentleman in front of me.

He either had no idea she was there or didn’t care but he didn’t move aside to let her go by so she had to just stand there and watch him groove along, feeling helpless but knowing in a matter of about 6 seconds the escalator ride, and any frustrations, would be over.

Then he got to the end of the escalator where his already-impressively-haunchy lower body haunched down a little more as he seemed to lock down on something while staring straight ahead, and I watched him suddenly sprint straight ahead through the Metro exit, across an entire parking lot, past a huge office building and into the woods.

I'll Say This

You're goddam right everybody in the Wegmans just now popped a little bounce to their step just now when you literally cranked up the volume halfway thru this one.🕺🕺🕺🕺

THE NEW YORKER Entry

“Hold up Terry, that looks more like a Ford L-100S Series than a Mustang.”

Whoa! du Jour

 This impression is so great I've spent 3 days assuming it can't possibly be real. 😜🤣🤣🤣

What the fuck his Tony is insane 💀 pic.twitter.com/KJEgk0DecY

— dane (@buckadeath) November 17, 2024

RIP Bob Love

I'd never even heard Bob Love's name until the incredible 2008 ESPN documentary Black Magic, but it's absolutely the part I re-watch the most.

Thanks, Bob. The world's a little less great today. 😢❤️

Update on Deathwatch 2007

If you're wondering, the only one still alive is Ralph Nader. 🤷‍♂️ (I wish it was John Wooden so I could highlight my "was an All-American back when it was called All-Colonies" line, but it wasn't so I won't. 😔)

YOU'RE WELCOME, EARTH!

61 years ago today, The Beatles were first reported on in America:

"Monday November 18, 1963, Huntley-Brinkley featured a report by Edwin Newman on the Beatles phenomenon. It was the Beatles' first appearance on American television and the piece was seen by millions of people across the country ... the biggest single audience for the Beatles anywhere outside England up to that moment. An audio recording somehow did survive, and was recently discovered in the Library of Congress."

Of course, we know what happened a few days later - they were announced to America by Mike Wallace on November 22 ...2 hours before the JFK assassination, therein leaving the scoop to be forgotten completely.

Thankfully, Walter Cronkite re-aired the report a few weeks later:

On December 10, 1963, CBS News Director/anchorman Walter Cronkite recalled a story prepared by the network’s London bureau on the curious response a Liverpool rock ’n’ roll band was generating among British youngsters. The five-minute story had originally run on the CBS Morning News with Mike Wallace on November 22, 1963, just hours before President Kennedy was assassinated. The story had been scheduled to run that evening, but with the day’s tragic events, the evening news was entirely devoted to the assassination. Being a few weeks after the tragedy in Dallas, Mr. Cronkite thought the country was ready for some light news. He decided to end his broadcast on the December 10 CBS Evening News with the feature story on the Beatles, which contained an interview with group, footage of their fan club and a performance of She Loves You.

...which led to Beatlemania kicking off in America, partly due to a Maryland teenager hearing Walter Cronkite's report that night.

INteresting...CURious, Even...

One funny thing about Mad Men is they tried so hard sometimes to make Megan appear so French and yet not only was spaghetti with jar sauce the only food she ever made, she also seemed to have a passion about it that belies the requisite skill level & surely would make any French person gag with its earnestness.

Hmmm...

...I’m *guessing* Rebecca is short for "Harold".

On Leonardo

I started watching the PBS Ken Burns doc on Leonardo da Vinci last night, and a few things sprang to mind:

I was disappointed Arno Valley is spelled with the rather oafishly phonetic "Arno" instead of the more French, sophisticated "Arneau".

Wait - on top of everything else Da Vinci was amazing at they're also trying to tell me this motherfucker was funnier than me too!?!?!?!?! 😡

All the talk about what a good drawer he was inflamed my passions of hatred for people who are gifted at drawing; my first dream as a little kid was to have a regular comic strip like the ones I loved in the newspaper every day, but I am a beyond terrible drawer so I had to give up that dream immediately.

He's maybe the single-most important individual in human history so far and "da Vinci" being Italian makes him sound very classy & sophisticated & everything we associate with old school Europe, but when I see his name in print I can't help but say it like the superfans on Saturday Night Live would, "DA Vinci!" 🤷‍♂️

Enjoy, motherscratchers!! 

Dafuck The Social Network?

I watched The Social Network yesterday for the first time in years and I'm surprised by the placement of two of its most famous & most quoted lines:

One of the Winklevoss twins' great "I'm 6'5", 220 and there's two of me" line is delivered near the beginning of the movie in a scene with ONLY the other Winklevoss twin and their one business friend. Why not save it for as late in the movie as you can & with other people in the room, including his opposition, for as much of a "mic drop!" moment as you can get? Dafuck?

And Justin Timberlake's iconic "a million dollars isn't cool, you know what's cool? A billion dollars" line isn't delivered how you think it is when you look back on it fondly; in fact it's not even delivered by Timberlake himself!

Amen, Sister

MLB HOF

The newest candidates for the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame have been announced, and I will now announce my decisions:

Ichiro Suzuki YES
CC Sabathia NO (but with a ❤️ for 2009)
Billy Wagner NO
Félix Hernández NO
Carlos González NO
Dustin Pedroia NO
Hanley Ramírez NO
Fernando Rodney NO
Ian Kinsler NO
Ben Zobrist NO
Troy Tulowitzki NO
Russell Martin NO
Brian McCann NO
Curtis Granderson NO
Adam Jones NO

Stuff!

VIA STUFF BY MARK:

Tomorrow Never Knows. The second entry in Volume 2 of ‘Rubber Saul’. A series celebrating mid century graphic design by reimagining the songs of The Beatles as old film posters.

XMASTIME NOTE: YES I know neither of these songs is from Rubber Soul but I guess that's just what he's calling this specific series of his so please get the fuck off my back please.

SEE ALL OF STUFF BY MARK'S INCREDIBLE STUFF BY MARK HERE

Joe Pro Family Photo

TV Boomers Suck

Years ago I wrote:

The Baby Boomers are the worst generation in American history, they need to die off, and I pretty much agree with every single one of these People Are Sharing The Boomer Trends They're Ready To See Go Extinct things.

which is just one of about a zillion things I've mentioned re: the Baby Boomers being the single-worst generation in American history.

Meanwhile, years ago I had to stop watching Billions, a show I otherwise liked but was making me depressed with its "how miserable can these people who have it all be?" theme, a theme similar to other incredibly popular shows popping up at the time, including Succession, of which I knew myself enough to stay away from since it's always sounded like the Michael Jordan of the "miserable billionaire" genre to me, and Yellowstone which started out aesthetically pleasing enough to transcend the "omg I own an entire US state but am miserable 24/7" genre but quickly devolved into an unwatchable soap opera. All of these shows highlight a patriarch clinging to every inch of money & power he's accumulated (or inherited), which is always more money & power than you or I would ever think possible to even dream of, and a bunch of seemingly worthless shithead sons & daughters cutting each other's throats for the biggest chance at Dad's power & money. This means that 60 minutes of a 60 minute show is stuffed to the gills with people who should be thrilled every moment of their waking days, but we're treated to the exact opposite which can grind me if nobody else down to the fucking nubs, screaming at the tv for them to just fucking go to a goddam island and enjoy your fucking money already instead of choosing to be absolutely fucking miserable all damn day long.

So imagine my delight at seeing the Universe finally catching up to me with an article in the Sunday New York Times - or, as I call it, "The Times" - titled How Stingy Boomer Parents Became the Best TV Villains:

Older Americans hold an outsize share of the nation’s wealth and power. Television loves watching their children scramble for a taste.

Even by the accustomed standards, recent television feels utterly awash in succession-themed stories. “Empire,” “Yellowstone” and “La Maison” all hinge on the promises and prevarications of parents and their offspring. On HBO alone, we’ve had “Succession” (children vying for control of a media empire), “The Righteous Gemstones” (children vying for control of a religious empire) and “House of the Dragon” (children vying for control of the family dragons).

Stinginess is a harsh verdict to lay on a large and diverse demographic. But it does seems fair to wonder if our hefty slate of succession-themed shows and films (there are also, among others, “The Will,” “The Inheritance,” “Inheritance Wars: Who Gets the Money?” and “The Crown”) is standing in for intergenerational conversations too delicate to have in real life. Advances in medical care and robust entitlements have made a vigorous old age not just viable but expected. That is a wonderful thing, but it does come at a cost for younger people — a pileup of housing shortages, slower career advancement and underinvestment in things like schools. Much has been written about why younger people are having fewer children, but seldom does the quiet part get spoken aloud: They face the daunting prospect of raising children with less money than their parents had, plus the task of helping to take care of those same parents during their decline.

Brilliant.

Oh Vey du Jour

What makes the joke "guys, Trump's way of brilliantly handling foreign policy was revealed years ago " her so funny is that based on what we saw when he was president this is exactly how Trump deals with other countries.

Even More Questions. I Have Them.

Is Trump gonna make Matt Gaetz be photographed with a woman over 17 years old next?

Questions. I Have Them.

When do we finally get our John Leguizamo/Bobby Cannavale-centered sequel to Chef?

Questions. I Have Them.

Has there really never been a strip bar named Peek-a-Booze?

Advice for Young People. I Have It.

I don't consider myself to be a man of great wisdom and I don't think anybody ever looks to me for advice but as I see all the young people in my life growing closer to adulthood there's one piece of advice I would like to pass on to them: if you're on a Zoom call for work & find yourself about to erupt in an emergency requiring you to suddenly leave the call by pretending your Zoom suddenly & mysteriously cuts out, be it you realized you're incredibly under-prepared or you really really have to take a shit, make sure you do it while you're talking so it seems more believable to everyone else on the call.

PREVIOUS ADVICE HERE

Jack Black, SCHOOL OF ROCK

Xmastime, Genius Videographer

I present to you, The Sounds of Fall.

Xmastime, Genius Photographer

I mean ffs I should turn this into a goddam jigsaw puzzle & finally make some $$$$$$crillah, people.

My New Favorite New Artist of All Time for Right Now

Some dude who popped up on Facebook named Danny Lewis.

Clear Eyes...

...Moi Say Moi back in 2016:

Obama still has to answer for his not making a Friday Night Lights sequel called "The Riggins Boys" happen.

...and now we see this:

🤔🤷‍♂️

I Go Walking Before Midnight

I don't know too much in this thing called life but I do know earlier tonight there were tiny little ghosts flitting around in front of me while I walked along this pier. 😳😳😳😳

You're Goddam Right

That whenever I play this I do play-by-play in my own head ("in my own head"...as opposed to someone else's head you fucking idiot?).

Bye Shel Talmy

Shel Talmy, the legendary producer who worked on the first five albums by The Kinks (as well as the Who/Creation/a million other bands), has died at 87.

There's a lot of shitty things about social media to go on & on about, but one of the absolute positives is Talmy's Facebook page, where he would regularly & suddenly post about the songs he had such a big hand in helping bring to life that that had brought joy to millions of people over decades & will continue to as long as humans – or something – have ears. As the years roll on & on The Kinks' seismic You Really Got Me looms bigger & bigger in its influence on any rock & roll with a guitar in it; here's what he said in a random "oh shit here's another Facebook post from Shel Talmy, I can’t believe I'm getting these notes from Shel Talmy!" post about the song:

THE BLUEPRINT FOR PRODUCING ‘YOU REALLY GOT ME’ BY THE KINKS A few days ago, it was the 60th anniversary of the release of ‘You Really Got Me’, the first hit that I produced with the Kinks, and of course the record that put them on the map. So I thought it might be a good time for a refresher on how we got there!

At the beginning of 1964, I had met a group called The Ravens, and liked and got on well with all of them. Ray Davies was introduced as the songwriter, and having heard their demos, I thought Ray’s potential for writing hits was up in the 95th percentile. These were still early days for me--I didn’t have my own label yet, or the money to sign a band directly to my company. So, exercising my independence, I took them to Pye Records. As I’d had hits with Decca and was reasonably well-known in London’s music biz, there was no problem arranging a meeting with the label head, Louis Benjamin. Benjamin brought in his head of A&R, Alan Freeman (not the famous 60s-70s deejay), who liked the band a lot and so a deal was done. 

The Kinks, as they now were named, signed directly with Pye, with me as their producer. The first session was scheduled for January 1964, and we discovered that Pye insisted we record their choices, four songs that consisted of the Little Richard hit, ‘Long Tall Sally,’ and three of Ray’s early efforts that he and I didn’t want to record, but were forced into it. As far as the Kinks and I were concerned, predictably, the buying public wasn’t interested... I don’t know if all this negative stuff had an impact on Ray, but maybe it went some way to inspire him to begin a hot streak that would crown him as one of the songwriting greats!

The next song he wrote was ‘You Really Got Me,’ which we all felt was a hit and to make our point, a meet was arranged with Benjamin and Freeman, the two Kinks managers Robert Wace and Grenville Collins, and myself at Pye’s offices. To sum up, we said we were unhappy with the tracks we had been “commanded” to record, and for the next single we insisted on recording ‘You Really Got Me’,’ and without actually stating it, implied, “take it or leave it”!

I will note here that at the time Pye was lagging behind the other major labels in their percentage of “hit” acts, so they were somewhat over a barrel, and so agreed to what we wanted to record. The session was held in June at Pye’s studio #2, the room used for bands, as opposed to orchestras. The track turned out great and Pye loved it.

But--after listening to it for a couple of days, Ray decided that his song was too slow and bluesy and wanted to re-record it. Pye refused to fund another session. At a meeting with the guys, Wace and Collins, we unanimously said, “the hell with that”! I said I would pay for it, and booked a session at IBC Studios. 

So around the second week of July, we re-recorded ‘You Really Got Me,’ and here is how the session went. I also booked Perry Ford, piano player and part of the Ivy League trio, who had their own hits. Pete Quaife who had played with Ray and Dave from the time they were in art school together, was a terrific bass player. Ray and Dave Davies filled out the group-- Ray, the lead singer, playing rhythm guitar and Dave playing lead guitar.

To confirm the question I’ve answered about 5,000 times, yes, Dave played the solo on ‘You Really Got Me!’ Here is Dave’s set-up and how we got the sound that many music critics have credited for influencing a whole new way to play the guitar, and inspiring bands around the world! Dave was playing a Harmony Meteor guitar, plugged into an Elpico amp, we usually referred to as the “little green monster,” and played barre chords. Yes, Dave had sliced into the amps cone to get the growl it produced, and that amp was hooked up to a Vox AC30 amp. I mic’d both amps and combined their individual sound output into what you hear on the record. Backing vocals were double-tracked and done by Dave, Pete Quaife and Ray’s then wife, Rasa.

‘You Really Got Me’ was released a couple of weeks later and shot straight up to number one in the UK. It was the first chart-topper for both myself and The Kinks.

Thanks Shel for the music we love, and thanks for sharing such great insight as this about the music we love. Enjoy the control room in the sky, Shel.