Dear Evangelical Christians of America,
It’d be a lot easier to believe all your biblical bullshit if you didn't also claim it took place within the last 6,000 years; you can kind of vaguely bullshit me that a bush could conceivably set itself on fire & talk to you 6 million years ago but not 6,000. I’d recommend leaning into what scientists say is the actual age of the planet Earth, as it would make your dumb shit that much more believable.
I remain,
Xmastime
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