I still say this should be a movie, and a funny one at that. A mix of Monty Python and the Holy Grail (the British Union soldier who keeps volunteering to take Booth on one-on-one, oh by the way he had also cut his own nuts off), and the Simpsons (Sideshow Bob as Booth, Homer as his doofus companion Herold.) The shit writes itself; including the ongoing joke that no matter how gruesome a scene one is describing, or how much they claim Booth is the devil himself for what he's done to the country, nobody can go too far without off-handedly remarking how incredibly handsome he was. ("The flames whipped around Booth as I set my sight on him a final time, preparing to end this 12-day national nightmare...I closed one eye and focused on his face...which was, I must say, pleasant to look at...luminescent, really...")
On a side note, it's fun to see the name "Jett" pop up in the story once the Northern Neck becomes a part of the stage - where I'm from, you can't swing a dead rat across the Rappahannock without hitting a Jett, and in fact I played against one in high school. John Jett went on to have a long, successful career as a punter in the NFL, but whenever I'd mention to people I had played against him in high school (he also played offense/defense), they'd always ask how great a punter he had been, to which I could only shake my head and admit I never had the pleasure of watching him, or any other team for that matter, be forced by us to punt. Sigh.
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