Hockey.

Is hockey the greatest paradox in sports? You’re a toothless thug pummeling the shit outta some other dude, blood spraying everywhere. Then the second it’s over you skate away like Tootie after a bitchslap from Ms. Garrett. Strange. You're wearing matching outfits, doing "Disney on Ice" and tightly gripping a long, hard stick. I'll be honest, if a dude wants to beat my ass and has to skate over to me to do it, I'm not really shaking in my Uggs, knowwhatImean?