It Always Comes Down to Costanza

Doctor Yes, well, I'm going to have to be perfectly honest with you.
George Please, doctor.
Doctor I've examined you.
George Yes.
Doctor I've looked at your X-rays.
George Uh-huh.
Doctor And I find that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
George Hmm. Really? Nothing?
Doctor Nothing that would indicate involuntary spasms.
George Well, it's kind of a mystery, isn't it?
Doctor No, not really.
George How so?
Doctor May I suggest the possibility that you're faking?
George Faking? What makes you think that I have time to see doctors, take X-rays, make appointments, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me? What kind of a person would do a thing like that?
Doctor I don't know what kind of a person would do something like that. Obviously a very sick person. A very immature person. A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time. Good-bye.
George Now, see here, doctor.
Doctor I said, good-bye.


Over the past year, rarely has a day gone by without my gout ravaging either one of my ankles or, even worse, my knee. Ridiculous. And as you super-fans may know, I recently said fuck it and went to the free clinic - 2 Saturdays ago I went for my "qualifying meeting" (as posted HERE) and, much to my great relief, that Saturday coincided with the first pain-free day I had had in months. And I've been gout-free in the 2 weeks since - so now I'm fucking freaking out that when I show up for my doctor's appointment next month there will be no gout evident, and the doctor will think I'm bullshitting him. I just know he's gonna call me out and I will be rode out on a rail by the other patients, all of whom are furious that their only way to see a doctor was clogged up by such a douchebag as myself, mocking the system. Forever labeled throughout the city as a complete shithead. So should I hope that it actually comes back in time for my appointment? No way, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy...but would it be for the greater good of my medical future?

Fucking christ. I can't even get being a crippled loser right anymore.