Ann Coulter

It's amazing to me that after all these years, Ann Coulter is still vexingly famous. Whenever she's on tv, my head starts to implode, and I start bitching "why do they keep bringing her on these fucking shows?!??" when the rational side of my brain reminds me well, people tune in. She's fucking batshit, and what makes for great viewing numbers? Batshit.

But last night, watching her on Huckabee, I started thinking of the fact that her name, both on tv and in print, is always accompanied by "#1 New York Times bestselling author!!!" Which is funny since she spends most of her waking moments barking that the NYT is the devil. But more to the point...who the fuck is buying these books?

I mean, camon...no REAL conservative takes her any more seriously than I do. So they're not buying them. Obviously, pinko-Commie liberals like I am not. And anybody in between who's mildly interested can pretty much guess what her opinion is on everything on Earth, and are only vaguely interested anyway, so they don't need to buy it. Which leaves what I would think she thinks her demographic is: crazed right-wing Dubya-loving "bomb bomb bomb Iran!" fucking rednecks living in makeshift meth labs in trees throughout Middle America.

The kind of people, I would think, that don't spend a lot of time buying and reading books.

So wtf? I'm officially calling bullshit on these claims that her books top the NYT list. I dunno what kind of arrangement they have, but it's bullshit. I can live with her prancing around on tv spouting nonsense, but seriously, I think I'm gonna bring a lawn chair and a Coors Lite party ball to Barnes & Noble and set up shop to see who's buying her books. Cause, like chicks who insist on not having bangs and showing us their freaking movie-screen foreheads, it makes no fucking sense at all.

Next Up: I critique the coming-of-age novel "My Life in Penny Hockey", by THE GNAT ;)