New Career

I've decided that this is the year I'm gonna kick off my stand-up comedy career. Fuck it, it's the only thing anybody has ever said I might be good at. I've never been good at anything, so much so that I even tried reading for a play a few months back for fuck's sake. So who knows. I'd like to think it'd be like the best of Xmastime, but funnier, what with my raised eyebrow looks, awesome use of the word "fuck," and interacting with the crowd. Fuck it, ain't like I got a job to take up my time.

I skimmed a list of some of the open mics in the city, and they all seem the same, show up and get 5 minutes blah blah blah. But what's funny is that almost every one also has a "Stand Up Comedy Class!" you can sign up and pay for. HAHAA! Now THAT'S funny! First of all, the "teachers" are all middle-aged, balding "comics" you've never heard of. Or, in English, "failed comics." Why am I going to study this dude - wouldn't I be better watching Seinfeld for fuck's sake? Plus, I have no interest in "workshops" et al, working with complete strangers I could give two shits about. My job would be to walk up to the mic and destroy these motherfuckers; why do I wanna "improv" with them at some workshop for $35 under the tutelage of somebody who's not funny?

Also, when was the last time you saw a comedian interviewed and, when talking about how he/she got started, he says "well, I took a bunch of classes, and learned 'art of standup' by this guy Billy McFucknuts..."? Never.

So we'll see.