Shark Bite

Previous thoughts on sharks:

The thing about sharks is that, just like snakes, they're especially scary because here's something that could kill you and it doesn't even have arms and legs. Normally you'd think "well, this guys got no limbs, this should be no problem" but next thing you know you're shark doo-doo. The difference being, of course, to get eaten by a shark you hafta make the effort to go to the shark - unlike a snake, you pretty much know that sharks are in the ocean and that's it. You're not gonna find a Great White curled up under your sink, waiting for you like a snake would.  

I had a dream last night that I had a small shark tank in my room, with a miniature great white shark swimming around inside it. I was looking at the shark when all of a sudden he chomped into another big fish in the tank; his eyes rolling back in his head as he bit the fish in half. Then I looked at my tv, and Jaws was on, and it was the scene where *SPOILER ALERT* Robert Shaw gets eaten.

So after I woke up I spent all morning being freaked out that a shark is gonna bite my dick off, until I realized the ridiculousness of such a thing. I mean, my dick's alright and all, but nobody's gonna confuse it with a baby seal. Meanwhile I'm 6'2" and 270* pounds, so I doubt if a shark sees me swimming above him he's gonna be like "alright, I'm gonna eat this fat fucking - WWWWWAAAAIT a second, what's THIS here?!?!?  nom nom nom!!!"

Unless of course it's a fag shark. Ugh. Fucking fag sharks, going right for the dick, as usual. They should have their own island to live on and be fags.

* cough