Timing & Titties

The theme on Xmastime today seems to be  titties tiitties titties!  timing. Meanwhile, as you people know I recently got an iPhone, which obviously is yet another thing that makes me better than you.  One of the first apps (applications, you non-IPhone losers, heretofore known here as "poor people that should have their own island somewhere) I got was DailyBurn, a handy little thing that tracks calories now that I'm starting my 84,882nd diet this year alone.  You put in your current weight and target weight and when you wanna get their, and it tells you your calorie limit for the day.  You tell it what you've eaten and it keeps track for you, and reminds you of how many calories you have left for that day.

So of course since I'm an idiot I launch this attack this weekend, while I'm vacationing in the Poconos (YES, I know that makes me better than you as well.) And of course when you're on vacation, priority #1 is to eat and drink like there's no tomorrow, meaning that by noon I'd get a message from my handy Dailyburn app reminding me that I was allowed 11 more calories for the rest of the day.  Then the messages went like this:

1:30pm: Really?  I mean, REally?
2:45pm: No, "hot dog" is not a vegetable.  Christ.
3:15pm: Look, if you're not gonna try then why the fuck should I?
4:30pm: I'm telling my other app friends about this shit.
5:00pm: how 'bout at least wiping the butter off your finger before swiping me, asshole?
6:00pm: I think it's time we saw other people.

Sigh.  Me - I'm really happening, aren't I?