"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “Why have you bothered to build up a small army of children?"

The last girl I was in love with just told me her boyfriend took her ring shopping.  Needless to say my minions have been placed on a Fung Wah bus heading to the Midwest ("scrambling the jets"), where they will await further instructions as per "fucking this dude up."

Do YOU wanna open the door and see these hardass mfs standing there?