Friday, March 23, 2012

You Don't Want My Fucking Problems.

A coupla nights ago I had my "fuck it, one last blowout before I get serious again about my diet" (destroyed minutes ago by a vending machine cheeseburger, thanks to Free Pizza Friday switching to Mr. Fucking Softee Friday at the office, grrrr), so I got a chicken empanada with cheese from a truck outside my building. Next thing I knew, the guy was foisting FIVE FUCKING EMPENADAS on me - chicken, pork, veggie, etc.  - totally free for my taking. As the truck is brand new to the neighborhood, he wanted me to sample his wares and become a regular customer as well as spread the word among my other hopefully overweight, fried food-addicted friends. So now I feel stuck - obviously he's expecting me to come back after all the freebies, but I can't, as I've knocked "deep fried street food" off my list of shit to eat. And since I'm not made of money I can't just buy one every day or so and then toss it. What the fuck? Could this have been a case of the worst timing in the world? Where was all this free shit when I couldn't give less of a fuck about losing weight (ie, the 90s/00s)? Now I know every time I walk outside my building the guy is eyeballing me and thinking I'm a fucking prick, just like anyone who leaves a bar right after a buyback (if those even exist anymore.)

FUUUUUUUCK!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Empenada...is that anything like an Empyema? Hope not.

Pops said...

Stop by, tell him how good they were and that you told your friends, but you are currently on a diet. Drop him a few bucks to help pay for the freebies, what the heck.