I Am a Riddle Wrapped in an Enigma Wrapped in Toughskins

I am the exact OPPOSITE of meticulous or orderly in every part of my daily (and nightly, heh heh heh - am I right, ladies? I mean, Am i right? Amiright? Amitright? Arr arr arr arr!!!!!) life, and yet I am obsessed with making sure my headphones go into the correct ears as designated by the R and L. I don't know why - do I think if I don't the music will be played backwards? In another language maybe? Sounds of my girlfriend  who only exists in a parallel universe  getting plowed by the Mets?

Sigh. Me - I'm really happening, aren't I?