Am I Being Stalked?

As you already know I do not read a lot of contemporary fiction, and I CERTAINLY don't read books about a chick dwarf in post-WWI Germany (though my porn stash would suggest otherwise.) But yesterday as I was walking home I saw this book out on the sidewalk, and for some reason felt compelled to take it. No idea why. I finally decided "naw" (isn't my Southern accent charming, girls?) and moved on with my fucking life, but just now in the office ta-DA!...there it is in the freebie pile, beckoning me like a fresh meat-lovers at the Pizza Hut buffet. It appearing to me twice within 18 hours has made me decide to read it after all.

Of course, my "if you appear before me twice I will take you back" policy applies to my high school girlfriend as well.

6) After not responding to my calls/pleas on this site etc, I saw my high school girlfriend over Xmas. To her credit, she kept things cool, as her husband was there, and did not let on at all that we're about to start our lives together. I could not help but smile when she climbed in his lap and made out for a while and told him how much she loved him. "Well played," I chuckled, "no one here suspects a THING." I did think her taking him upstairs and then coming back with her hair messed up and her sweater missing was laying it on a bit thick, though. "Easy," I thought. "We're not looking for a goddam Oscar here."