Someone needs to come up with a way to sell those great little uncooked nuggets you find at the bottom of a batch of popcorn; kernels that STARTED to pop but stopped, giving you that tasty, fulfilling bite of crunch.Turns out Whole Foods has stolen my idea, which I found out thanks to illWill and Miss IllWill, Duchess of Poet's Row.
I can't find any pictures of the sort, so fuck it enjoy this video of me and Fashion Herald making caramel popcorn at Garrett's in Midtown instead. Skip forward to the 9:10 mark for the popcorn part; everything til there is just FH fawning all over me. - XMASTIME
Obviously I've consulted my in-house counsel, Marley, on how to proceed with my lawsuit.
MARLEY:So you wrote this about nine months ago?
XMASTIME: That's right.
MARLEY:And you have no idea when Whole Foods started selling these things?
XMASTIME: No.
MARLEY:For all you know, they've been selling them for years?
XMASTIME: That's right.
MARLEY:And do you have any proof that anyone in any way connected to Whole Foods has ever once read Xmastime?
XMASTIME: No.
MARLEY: None at all?
XMASTIME: No.
MARLEY:(slowly turns glaring eyes to sky, shaking fists) Those bastards. Those magnificent bastards.
XMASTIME: Do I have a case?
MARLEY: (throws briefcase in air, jumps while clicking his heels together) I finally have my Big Tobacco!
Oh, and yes: they're real, and they are spectacular!
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